Bella the Beagle was apparently Britain’s loneliest dog, she had been returned so much by owners, she was now classified as the most loneliest dog in the country.
In fact little did the humans who came to collect her and take her back to their unusual surroundings know, but she actually preferred Battersea Dogs Home than their stinky, weirdly laid out, furry floored houses.
It was where all her friend's were and she easily made pals with any new dog that came to be put in an empty cage next to her as easy as Pedigree Chum.
She enjoyed the fact that such a fuss was made over her by the staff, they obviously thought she was depressed or something. Even the weird people in black that had turned up one day to take white flashing clicks from strange boxes held in front of their heads the other week took pity on her for some reason.
It was one of her best day's, such a fuss had been made of her, with the staff grooming her for hours before these special men had shown themselves to pet her and stroke her whilst making weird noises with their mouths and looking at her with funny faces.
She loved it at the dog's home, where she could play with her pals without being put on those horrible neck tie things that every person who took her away from here tried to do when taking her out for a walk.
They would never let her just have fun, and play with the other dogs whenever they went out on walks in the commons or by rivers and greens.
She would see a dog she wanted to play with and they would say hello in the common fashion of sniffing each others bums, and want to go off together and play alone. However before you knew it the humans would command her to stop, and then drag her away with those horrible neck ties that always jerked her head back in a very unnatural fashion.
She hated these humans who thought they could own her, and each time she was taken away from her home, she would make sure she was returned as quickly as possible.
She found that defecating on the furry floors most humans had was the best thing to do, they always got angry and had to spend hours cleaning it up. It always helped to tread it into the fur with her paws a bit first before sitting beside it with a big smile on her long nosed face.
The occasional pee on the kitchen floor always helped to make them upset as well and the more upset they got the more nearer to her real home she could feel herself getting.
All she had to do was ensure that she kept making those humans shout at her and get angry about whatever she was doing. The bite on a newcomers leg to the house as they leant down to pat her always helped as well.
Barking for no reason in the middle of the night and chewing up the things the humans wore on their feet was such a successful strategy that she had used it many times by now. In fact every time she repeated her tricks when being removed, she had been returned to her real home every single time.
This was where her friends were, and where all the attention was given to her. She loved it here and never wanted to leave. Why would she when all her pals were right by her side and she could play and talk to them all day long, with none of the human antics she hated so much, spoiling her day.
Stupid humans what did they know?
© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid
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