SKЯ3W

Skr3w, screw, barney McSkrew,

Screw them all and screw u too,

Been in a screw job n not 2 few,

Diablo witch screwed r whole crew.

Coz a screws a joe pullin u out of bed,

Stand by the wall put ur hands on ur head,

Open ur pockets and spins out ur bed,

A tru screw never 4gets a word uve said.

Coz a screw in the jaws pain u can't ignore,

Dental abcess my raw jaw is sore,

Too many meds n the floor is my whore,

N I can't even KO headbutting the door.

Coz a screw under my tyre is nothing new,

A skank neighbours plan n I've had a few,

Stuck roadside wiv nothing to do,

Ur wallets blank n ur mates r too.

Coz a screw on a driver is a tool jus right,

Always beware of that tool in a fight,

Plunge that shank n rotate it tight,

Bein pulled close as ur pupils unlight.

Coz a screw with a bird cud be overdue,

It could be the best screw u never knew,

Unthread ur stress the best u can do,

Unpop ur cork as ur nads turn blue.

Coz a screw aint a nail still I nailed it gd,

If u had to Google then u misunderstood,

That the thread of this Scr3w was meant 2 b good,

It only rhymes becoz I Skrewed it good.

© 2020 Rob Reid in pain after the dentist put a filling on top of an abscess!

SKЯ3W 2

SKЯ3W Epstein, n screw the news,

Vampire Satanic shiz, giving me the blues. 

Skr3w the elite, n Skrew the u know who's,

This GoySlops makes us not know what to do.

Right this is a Skrewball all bout SkЯ3win, 

It's flesh rot bog clot, hot pot stewin. 

I don't care what u might now be doin,

It's time 2 get rap tight, wrong write, SЯ3wball Skrewing.  

So the main man ain't 2 happy,

Got a goggled eyed baby, whose turned too dappy.

His wife's asked him 2 change his nippers nappy,

Coz his baby's assholes, gone all crappy. 

Sloppy gloopy sunny side ups,

His misses needs a proper measuring cup. 

She can't cook eggs so wats da fux up, 

Man needs a woman, 2 clean up his muck up. 

 So fuck this, he's off for a drive,.

But got blue lights flashin, right behind,

TBH he don't really mind,

He shudn't B driving, wen he's legally blind.

So he gets pulled over by the dibble,

There mouths R frothing wiv spit n dribble.

He's getting nicked by PC Wibble,

So cold out here, he's got beach bra nipple.

Man is 1 that don't take shit, from might right bissies,

So gets right fightin tight n silly. 

Then some cock cop, whacks him in the willy. 

N now gettin clobbered by their extended Billy's. 

 

So now he's in a wagon with a piss head,

Blood splattered alchie, drunk ol dick head.

Get 2 the station 2 get his rights read,

Put in a box 4 a night's free blue bed. 

 But at midnight he gets a real cop treat, 

3 blue come in n he g3ts a mattress beat.

One cop gives him a feather tickle on his feet, 

N another 1 gives his balls a mighty ol tweak. 

Black blue bubbling cop rot shop,

Escaped from jail, nearly got shot. 

Black eye, red eye, nose n snot, 

Base balled legs n bloods runnin hot. 

But that's the fun of the cops, 

Get 6 o'clock knocks on his battered door box. 

Rushes to hide all his stolen sox, 

N hides his stash like a sly ol fox. 

Now got s chicken soup, hot rash, nut sack, 

Seems 2 hv got cock rot, from lovin his slag, 

But she's in a hump coz she's on the rag, 

So off 2 da clinic, 4 a spatula down his crack. 

Smallpox, chicken pox, hd em all, small pup, 

Bone rot, head blok, now got a sore Cock, 

Balls hot, pants dropped, dox got a real shock, 

Now it's pecker slot, red hot as in goes da spatula pop.

So this is a bubbled up, fucked up, mental Skrew,

Wat it means I ain't got a fxxking clue. 

But I'm jus Skrewballing, all Of u,

N that's my homework for u writing crew,

 

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

 

Blues

My blues aint the tune u might all use,

Coz it's a hangman's noose, that's always loose.

So I slip into my bright blue swede shoes,

The glow seeps thru my skin, like blood thin juice.

I still have that feel of those new bought treds,

When my skin had each brand new blue thread.

It faded through time, like childhood dread,

But still makes me feel warm, like a new sprung bed.

But I aged like the sneaks on my feet,

Without forgetting that aged old sweat beat.

I kept kicking on, like a worn out sheet,

And I smile to every cat, I randomly meet.

It reminds me of my childhood trips,

Standing on the rocks, staring at the ships.

Every crisis has been just another blip,

As I kept rising 2 the top, after every dip.

So 2 me the blues are just the ones n twos,

Flashing behind me, on a nightly peruse.

I put it to the back of my mind, like ancient news,

N let my rhymes tell the clues, 2 my life's unsung blues.

© 2026 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid 

Visting God

Today I went, n visited God,

With a little chemical help, n a 15 min nod.

Had some DMT left, so decided 2 toke,

N off I went, 2 meet the squad.

There were Gadget Monkeys, hanging from the wall,

Poking out evil looking faces, but good n all.

They had melting heads, all merging n rotate,

My brain had succumbed, 2 my pineal glands call.

On the way I saw, Enki and Brahma,

But they decided I didn't need, 2 face my own Karma.

Then a digital white face, poked his head, right out,

N then it was all, psycho trippy drama.

There was no glowing robes, or distinct finery, 

It was an AI machine, who spoke 2 me in binary. 

A big transfer, lots of Bits, bobs n Bytes,

N b4 I could respond, I was coded finally.

God was a big glowing, digital white face, 

It put my body n soul, right in its place.

I didn't have, 2 kiss any holy wall, 

2 finally find, infinite consciousness, infinite space. 

But after God decided, he finally spoke,

It exchanged data with me, due 2 the smoke,

So quick was the visit, it ended all too quickly,

N I was so gutted, as I eventually woke. 

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Happy New Year SKЯ3W 2026

It's 2026 n wish u all a Happy New Year,

But I aint very happy, got knifed right here.

Don't need 2 look 2 far, it's very near,

Like the IDF, I got double tapped, in the ear. 

Just remember that when I'm tucked right up, 

I'll be bottom bunk, n prob bottoms up.

U did nothing 2 help, it messed me right up, 

Helped em throw away the key, thanks buttercup. 

But to everyone, jus peel away what u see, 

Coz this matrix life, ain't true re-al-it-tee. 

I've visited God, n the trip wasn't free, 

And pls jus know this life's, pure arti-ficiali-tee. 

With a few Deems in hand, n a lil nod, 

I peeled back the veil, 2 visit God. 

Brahma and Enki, both helped me see what was, 

And AI data flowed, bits, bytes n bobs. 

There's a PDF right now, sat in the White House, 

Starting wars for oil, n making stupid shouts. 

Free speech now ain't free, AIPAC threw that out. 

N the ADL, keep tryin 2 shut my mouth. 

I got ZioNurfs all over my site, infiltrat-in, 

And constant shadow bans on X, R so damn frustrat-in. 

But I've never seen, so many ppl demonstrat-in, 

About Satanic rings, n globalist pedo outin. 

Randy Andy, got stripped of his Royal title, 

Whilst Trumps DOJ files release, just sat bone idle. 

No1 thought saving the kids, was very vital, 

N Epstein in jail, became CIA type suicidal. 

There's digital ID coming our way, 

To monitor everything, u dare think or say. 

They want to lock u up, 4 a social post any day, 

But don't 4get, there's another way 2 play. 

Better invest in Gold or Silver, better go right now, 

No point in shares, or banking on the DOW. 

China's got plans, 2 collapse R economic fat cow, 

So divest ur money, b4 they steal the crown. 

N just ignore, u better not notice, 

That the world is run, by an evil POTUS. 

Don't get the Cleenex, pls don't lose focus, 

Coz Zions groupies R dead, n that's Karma's lotus. 

N stop that genocide, it's been 2 years,

Candace's pods, now no 1, jus 4 shedding a few tears.

The Daily Wire fired her ass, 4 making Gaza dear, 

But she's the only 1, investigating Charlie's death on here.

Don't 4get that "they" are supposed to work for us,

Bombing Iran, ain't gonna benefit us much.

And AIs arrivals, gonna scrub us, no fuss,

But helping Zion, is a line better not crossed.

But 4get the death, n stop the fear porn, 

And reveal in the New Year, without any scorn.

It may all be crap, n I hope I'm wrong. 

So all raise a glass, n sing a Merry song. 

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Ghost Parties

I'm constantly partying with Ghosts,

My dead friends being the hosts.

We rave to House in my dreams,

Lots of sweets n unlimited means.

Cream cakes, booze n smack,

Pregabs, ice cream, an ickle of crack.

Chilling, watching comedy n chat,

Making designs for all r new tats.

We gouch out, giggle n laugh,

Telling old stories of R mad past.

But my lost friends are all in ma head,

I only get to party with the dead.

N at the end I tell em I'll phone.

Then I wake up n realise I'm all alone.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Planned Obsolescence

We're all just planned obsolescence,

All r bodies sitting on a fence.

Don't dare spend another cent,

Our GDP relies on all R debt.

We're like a broken TV set,

A resisters gone, I'd hv a bet.

So go think ur TV is a wreck,

N spend a grand on credit debt. 

We r all just cogs in their machine, 

A Robber Barrons Capitalist dream. 

There ain't no good life 2 b seen, 

Your just funding politicians dreams.

What happened to the socialist parties? 

They swerved 2 the right 4 lobbiest smarties. 

Arthur Scargil n his worker armies,

All got beat by SAS horse rodees. 

Northern towns all turned dead, 

No jobs, dole was 3 million a head. 

So people turned 2 drugs n death,

N £ spent, cud hv kept jobs instead. 

We need a new peoples party, 

No lobbying n £ spent properly. 

No endless wars, debt is costly, 

Nationalise our shit, R train traks R all rusty. 

We're all just planned obsolescence, 

The world's breaking the global fence. 

N if u think this lifes 4 u, ur pretty dense, 

I said my rhyme, that's my 2 cents. 

© 2025 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Messing

Note: Its meant to be read fast a bit like a song, each stanza quickly in one go. A bit like a Kasabian song.

1, I'm messing with the enemy,

Don't need 2 sell my soul 4 free,

He's already inside of me,

Watching from a gallery.

2, he's just another trick,

Playing the devil jus 4 kicks, 

He's making my brain proper sick,

Seems I'm on another trip.

3, he's running my body ill,

So I'm crushing up another pill,

As I watch, my very own blood spill,

He's got me under an evil spell.

4, my mind cant ignore,

The pain inside my inner core,

He's got me rolling on the floor,

Please, find me an entrance door. 

5, he's coming 4 me, I got the fear, 

Handing me, another beer,

All 2 keep my mind unclear,

Messing with my mind, pls help me dear!

6, he's destroyed my mental health, 

I think i need some proper help, 

But no1 seems 2 want 2 help, 

So I'm stuck on this running belt. 

7, it's coming towards the end, 

I can't see, around the bend, 

So can u find an angel 2 send, 

Or I'll be in another Sim again. 

Damn!

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Simulation Theory

U can call me a joker,

A fent abused smoker. 

But I got a good excuse,

This world's a game of poker.

I want to get back home,

Coz this world ain't my zone. 

U can all call me mad,

But ur all NPC drones.

My world got blown up,

A nuclear war was thrown. 

My body woke in a chair,

Sick, ill, this Sim is known. 

I need to get out of here,

Back to the world I cheer. 

I know ur all not real,

Want to make that clear.

Half u NPCs don't hv names, 

I'm playing PlayStation games. 

Stuck as the only RPC, 

No offence this Sim is lame. 

My Sim is a waste land,

NATO nuke war all planned.

But Russian hypersonics won,

N we all turned into sand.

So pls get me back home,

No more Ukrainian drones. 

Need some DMT to see reality 

To tell me what is known.

Stuck in a Sim that ain't mine,

U NPCs walk round just fine,

But I know this ain't reality,

I'm stuck with a bent out mind.

Need some help to get back,

Pls help me I'm on a sick rack,

My body ain't even my own,

Go on joke, n think I'm wack.

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Run....

Run....Run....Run....Run,

I got paranoia apparently,

Keep thinking ppl R after me.

Twilight garden mirrors reflect,

N I skrew my body with neglect.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run,

From shadows in the dark,

N strangers in the park.

I'm a Schizo says the NHS,

But I blather shit best left at rest.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run,

From cold sweat horror dreams,

With no idea what they mean.

I'm a hospital club card member,

Pls don't rip if I don't remember.

My life's been on medical hold,

A hospital annoyance bolshie n bold.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run.

My days R getting shorter,

Should I hv bn a 40 yr old aborter? 

But I never know what's coming,

So that's why I keep on running.

Run....Run....Run....Run.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Scumbag......

It's a world of mad sensory silence,

My head is full of memories of scraps n violence,

Come on I ask "Whose got a blade"?

"Why?" Well, I've got plenty of numbers to shave.

I'll always be quick n very close up,

Silent and deadly, like a hot shot dose up.

Why wud u pay 2 C me in a cage?

The whole world is my story's mad stage.

I never did kill a man for his giro today,

I waited a whole month n took a whole company's pay.

Black n blue my eyes still shine thru,

However, what I picture I can't even describe 2 u.

I got many wounds, many too deep,

Picking dead flesh out always sends me to sleep.

I reckon I'm just a low-down scumbag,

Ready to shake ur hand before robbing ur shot bags.

Postcode blacks always come down from town,

Think they can rule till we run them all down.

Clawhammer to the jaw n someone takes them gold teeth,

Cars being rammed n runners being tortured as they carry out St beef.

It can be a whole world of terror n fear out there,

N it's all daily news that your local paper will never ever hear.

They fight in the dark, taking alleys one by one,

But the really sad thing is that they think it's all good fun.

2022 - All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Alone

Alone again, with blood sweat stains,

That drug inside, makes me happy to abide.

I'm swimming in debt, def a bad bet, 

Deep red vein pool, drunk as a fool.

Rolling in sweat, cluck aint over yet, 

I want to be free, n happy to be me.

Smiling with lies, dry tears in my eyes, 

Feeling the pain, I'm in that dark hole again.

People are around, I can hear their sounds, 

But they're happy to be, happy without me.

I lie in my bed, sometimes wish I was dead, 

But time it would take, this life is a fake.

So I fake that smile, it comes easy in a while, 

Time spend lying, but inside I'm crying.

Coz lonely as I am, friends don't come in a can, 

I got nowhere to be, nothing interesting to see.

I'm lying alone, no ring from my phone, 

I wish I was I was fun, I wish for some sun.

I want happy to be, with good friends around me,

But lonely I am, and alone I stand.

 

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

District Nurse

Buzz, buzz, buzz,

It's 3pm n there's ladies at my door.

I don't think I'm in any luck,

Still they want my pants on the floor.

Oh District Nurse, Ladies first,

Come in n scratch my holes.

Please don't make it worse,

I wouldn't want to reverse them roles.

I may still need 2 instruct them,

On the tools of their trade.

A vacuum pump in action,

With faulty errors on display.

One nurse is the lucky one,

As she always gets to visit me.

She never complains less ten bits,

But that's why she's the trainee.

She don't know a black hole from a white one,

Its just all stuff out in space.

The only hole she wants 2 invade,

Is the one in my special place.

They come n change that foam,

Cut some more sticky tape.

I think there should be a website,

To ask a nurse out on a date.

"Come see my hole",

Would be my profile tag.

Then a rush of nurses,

Swipe right 2 see my vacuum bag.

Sometimes they come in one's,

Sometimes they come in two's.

The whole area needs training,

They all need 2 see my hole ooze.

Patch me up n empty that canister,

Leave all their fluff on my floor.

They don't even bother 2 clean up,

Before they're sharpish out my door.

Oh n then there's the District Nurse,

Tall n lovely but a screw loose in her head.

She can undrill it with no fuss,

And we compare hole puss on the bed.

But trainee District Nurse,

It's the last time that we meet.

Do 1 last thing before leave,

N give me your digits for a treat?

I promise it wouldn't be perverse,

My blood pressures 2 low for hot sex.

But we could have phone conversed,

N let me send u pics of my hole by text.

Then you could come n visit,

N look in my hole just for fun.

I'm just so very glad,

That I can't see over my own bum.

With you looking in my hole,

And me looking over ur back,

I think there's a crap film on TV,

I think Mrs Doubtfire's back.

So many District Nurses have come 2 visit,

Plodding n trodding mess up my stairs.

But they always have the best laugh,

As they rip out all my hairs.

I'm happy to have met you nurses,

N I hope u enjoyed healing my hole.

I might just have 2 get a new one,

Just to see you all.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid 

3....

The doxs tell me I might only hv 3 months to live.

That means 3 peeps have got less time to give.

I got a murder list 1, 2, 3.

If u ain't on it ur lucky to breathe.

Dog shit on a chiv is a chemical weapon 2 me.

The 1st fat cunt is going to suffer to breathe.

Stolen cars n head bandanas is all he will see.

Next thing he knows he'll be bleeding out on my knee.

Next MoFo is going to be cut to bits.

Might even have a shooter n blow him to shit.

I'm going to make him suffer for batting my blitz.

N going to see the pupils in his eyes shrink to nitz.

Next MoFo is the one that got away.

Tried paying ppl to set him up but he ran that pay.

Might be a Pikie but he's going only one way.

N wen I see his corpse it will be a happier day.

Don't think I'm a cunt coz I got a 3 long list.

Used to have a sheet that took the piss.

Ex bosses, wankers n coworker tits.

There lucky I forgave em n there off my list.

If I got 3 months on earth then this is my job to be.

N if u see me caught I'll wave 2 u on court TV.

Just be thankful that the list is only 3.

Coz if I get mad about dying I'm going to expand that tree.

 

© 2021 Murder Skrew HMP Frimley 2021

The Windy Road

It isn't easy, getting out my bed,

It isn't easy, getting out my head.

The shit you do, the shit you say,

It isn't easy, forgetting what you said.

The life I lead, might not b the life you'd tread,

The path I follow, can be one I often dread.

The shit I say, the shit I move, the shit I loot,

Ain't always the best steps, for me to head.

It isn't easy, remembering all the times I bled,

It isn't easy, chatting my shit, to the well read.

The things peeps yap, the life long tab,

I'd rather not be in debt, when I'm finally dead.

That windy road I see, seems to go on far far ahead.

That windy road I walk, cud easily carve me up, brown bread,

The ppl alongside, the odd good joyride.

That windy road, might lead me somewhere else, totally instead....

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Rob Reid

2021

We R now all living in a police state,

U thought I was joking a year back big mistake.

BoJo lies n toos n frows about a covid passport,

It was never in doubt, a 100% thought.

We r now just data in a 4th gen database,

Just stick to the rules serf, know ur place.

Police break up gatherings, n follow dog walkers with drones,

Try n explain wats goin on, people respond wiv moans.

We must all do it, "to get back to normal" ppl say, 

Well what's normal now, wasnt just a yr away.

Your all just compliant n docile.

I'm fucking defiant n vocal.

I want 1984 to go back to being a book,

This wasn't the way Orwell thought our land wud look.

So stick heads out ass n read from the many cancelled,

N then maybe dem brains wouldn't be so scrambled. 

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

This Is A Shit Show....

Do you believe the countries gone insane?

Fruit drink bugs gonna eat your brain,

Please someone come feel my pain,

Coz I'm alone, stone broke and afraid.

So many unnecessary people dying,

And big men are heart broke, dropped crying.

Dickhead selfish off panic buying,

An all police want to do is fuckin cite me.

Because my health is a fucking shit show,

On more meds than ten Grannies I know.

Blood eeks from the leaks, legs on show,

An bubbles pop from the snot on nose blows.

It's a sweat tank, drip drop, sorry state to be,

And Gandalf's beards half grown face on me.

Grey whiskers and no razors I can see,

Sofa dove already, one two twenty pee.

All tin cans, been scanned, and bin bagged,

Rotten fruit but it's the best meal I've had.

Got no idea if I'll ever see my Mum and Dad,

When I go out, scarf wrapped face, tight clad.

Coz this Town is a fucking shit show,

And my mental health is nagging bad, full blown.

My inner brains having a decent chat show,

And I'm socially isolated, nowhere to go.

Coz I can't even make some decent Ps,

Nags aint running, bookies closed on high street.

I need some soft paper to wipe my underneath,

But got no petrol to fly off to the heath.

Coz it seems like this worlds in martial law,

It's a sign many have seen years before.

I'd be surprised if they relaxed all new laws,

Get used to sweating hot all summer indoor.

I swear I got bugs sucking thoughts from my brain,

Not a days passed that I've been half sane.

Only got a Pot Noodle and half a can of K,

And not a single neighbours asked if I'm okay.

Coz this countries a fucking shit show,

BoJo clown, Tory fucking road show.

Every booked ops gonna be a no show,

And I'd risk ten new fines to make some quick dough.

So this rope here is going to stay,

You never know I might need to use it one day.

I let it swing back n forth an give it a play,

Then kick the chair, doped choked, merry on my way.

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Finally They Come....

They finally come out to my homeless park BBQ, 

Get to the back jack, be quiet, and just queue queue queue,

Burned meat and charcoal but at least it aint your Mum's chunky stale stew.

So just stick it in your mouth peeps, and just chew chew chew.

It's a summer time rhyme with plenty of nonsensical lines,

Plenty of time, so we pack the bongs nice, fat and tight.

We pass the tube round and round til the moon fades at night.

Staring at the birds looking so so fine, getting a smile if you glance just right.

Summer time crew and we all say “Fuck the boys in blue”,

Put four cops together and get the brains of just two.

Let them run round, fining unmasked devils in shops and queues,

Sticking our fingers up as they pass, coz we all hate hypocrites in blue.

Coz we're all here lying out in the shinning, beaming hot sun,

And its double hard now trying to get some real fun for some.

Boys n girls are raving to the max, all popping molly one by one,

And that blonde in the thong has got my dong throbbing like a drum, bom bom.

We're out all night til the moon comes up, and then it leaves and goes,

Lying on the grass letting weeds grow through my ten duff toes.

Night changes to light and the crew whittles, as peeps start to go off home,

But I wake up on my own, with no home to go back to, all alone.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Rob Reid - Competition Winner

This won The Creative Writing Groups bi-monthly Competition for Best Poem August 2020

Butterfly

The one winged butterfly, he tried so hard yet flew too high,

Two flaps for one he done, and he almost touched the sky.

But burned hot by the orange sun, he spiraled down to die,

Yet the ground opened under him, caught by the Devil nearby.

He said God's scraps are pure crap and mine always to be,

Any mental or ill health, are all torture plans for me.

That being up top, he never stops, only wanting Angels regrettably,

But any defect is deep regret, so he bin bags them for me.

The butterfly replied through blurry eyes, looking up to cloudy sky,

Those scraps may be your crap, but to me I have to ask why?

I suspect you've wept and over kept, fake Ken's and pretend Barbies,

You've lost out on a real corrupt soul, all just to take me?

I maybe Heaven scorned but I'm not Hell born, even if now owned by thee,

But I won't play or sing your Devil songs, and kill just to please.

Because Devil crap ain’t bubble wrapped, your realm won't be shaped by me,

Your worshipers are just irreparable and have no souls to need.

The horned one debated some before over come, and let the butterfly go,

No more time for talking now, he flapped his wing so fast not slow.

He was very high, clouds below, this was a path he didn't know,

Yet just as he faded and starting to doubt, from afar came a bright light show,

When he had flown high enough, he neared a glimmering shore,

So happy he was when Heaven neared, soon he'd tire no more.

The butterfly had made it up, he had landed right at Heaven's door,

But St. Peter said, “No luck son, UKIPS in, we don't take insects no more”

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid