Simulation Theory

U can call me a joker,

A fent abused smoker. 

But I got a good excuse,

This world's a game of poker.

I want to get back home,

Coz this world ain't my zone. 

U can all call me mad,

But ur all NPC drones.

My world got blown up,

A nuclear war was thrown. 

My body woke in a chair,

Sick, ill, this Sim is known. 

I need to get out of here,

Back to the world I cheer. 

I know ur all not real,

Want to make that clear.

Half u NPCs don't hv names, 

I'm playing PlayStation games. 

Stuck as the only RPC, 

No offence this Sim is lame. 

My Sim is a waste land,

NATO nuke war all planned.

But Russian hypersonics won,

N we all turned into sand.

So pls get me back home,

No more Ukrainian drones. 

Need some DMT to see reality 

To tell me what is known.

Stuck in a Sim that ain't mine,

U NPCs walk round just fine,

But I know this ain't reality,

I'm stuck with a bent out mind.

Need some help to get back,

Pls help me I'm on a sick rack,

My body ain't even my own,

Go on joke, n think I'm wack.

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Scrambled Heads

Let's go mumbling, bumbling without care,

Pink pixie queen, chose my lacey underwear. 

I make a livin pickin chicken teeth off da floor,

Den I go n fence em, 2 a sewer livin, troll of a whore. 

Coz I'm just a lil scamp, with a brain full of scrambled eggs, 

Holes n green gunk, yep I've got bad legs.

Slipped pins thru ma skin, 4 30yrs like a chore,

It's da kinda shit, I don't want 2 do no more.

Used 2 hv teeth, dat shined bright n glowed, 

But I pickaxed dem like da cavities, in dis flow, 

Mr green became too clean, n boring 4 me

But hopefully I'll get a bag of ticks, by half past 3.

So I'll post this Skrew, up bit by bit,

N If I can't rhyme the dime in time, I ain't worth shit. 

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Patients

Winding willows,

Blood stained pillows.

Dinlow patients,

I'm out of patience.

Red raw back,

Need a life hack. 

They dope me up,

As soon as I'm up.

Nothing to see here, 

Wrapped curtain clear. 

Be a gentle buttercup,

or I'll mess u right up.

Blood in my hands,

No one understands.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Hotel Frimley Park

(To the tune of Hotel California)

Welcome to the Hotel Frimley Park,

Such a lovely place, 

Such a happy face. 

Hardly any room at the Hotel Frimley Park. 

Any time of year, 

You won't find beds here. 

So welcome to the hotel Frimley Park, 

We got lovely staff, 

N an expensive car park.

Such a lovely place,

Smiling happy face.

So welcome to ward F6, 

we're all bed bound,

Lights off at 10, 

don't dare make a sound.

Pls don't piss yourself, 

Or dare shit yourself. 

Nurses just love changing wet smelly bed sheets, 

It's joy for them, they tuck em in prison neat. 

Rolling to the left bar as they yank it out, hard feel the pain, 

Then a roll to the right, and the same shit repeats again. 

Don't get monged out n cause rampages over missing food, 

The nurses will shout about, but they dosed u good.

If you rampage 2 much Security might get called, 

But ur NHS high, so they just get eye balled. 

But don't ever josh n joke with ur bay mates, 

Or flip right out n smash ur dinner plates. 

They will dose u up,

just to shut you up.

Don't even think about leaving Hotel Frimley Park,

You won't get very far, 

Might even break your leg,

in our very own car park. 

I used to love coming to hotel Frimley Park, nearly every year,

3 hot meals a day, power shower n no bed bound tears.

This is a mad n sad, summer holiday for me, 

Roasting outside, our bay all feels the heat. 

So welcome to Hotel Frimley Park,

HMP prison lights off early, so we tap phones in the dark.

I got a mobile, money and a tablet,

Royal Ascots on, so they feed my habit.

My left leg is still leaking everywhere, brown shit,

Not that the nurses can ID, the crumbly bitz.

I got a new big old hole from unknown shit in my left calf, 

Not that I can get anything done, not with these numpty staff. 

So welcome to the majesty's HMP Frimley Park.

We have NAZI nurses, 

that will leave u wet in the dark.

Just don't piss in the bed,

You'll be shipped off 2 another ward instead. 

I think I've been around the block in Hotel Frimley Park. 

Too many wards I've seen, 2 much madness in the dark.  

Life throws u lemons, and u have to make do, 

Just remember those Nepalese names, in case u need to sue. 

They all babble together at the desk in Smurf, 

So I never worry, or give a shit if I curse. 

I swear 4 verbs, adjectives and even nouns, 

N if u don't like the sound of it, go swivel u pussy clouns. 

Apparently Frimley HMP says I'm mentally ill,

I'm paranoid schizo, psychotic n probably ready 2 kill.

So they dose me up in the day to try n keep me quiet,

Turning half my brain off, then complaing about a chocolate éclair riot.

All I want 2 do is itch my broken cast covered leg, 

Still I know they r going to turf me out, with 2 fucked pegs. 

So welcome to Hotel Frimley Park, 

It's a deadly place, n will leave it's mark. 

We have unhappy staff, 

U will get scolded 4 having a laugh. 

It's my summer holiday, 

N I've had too many stayz.

I just etch the wall and count up the days. 

One day I might get out of this ward n Hotel Frimley Park. 

I'll be climbing scaffolding, one leg in the dark.

N if you ever find a broken body, with 2 duff legs,

Just think of me on discharge day only to break my "good" leg.

©2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Blank

Blank, blank, 

Blankety Blank,

Got no wheels with throttle,

My life is wank.

I've got to that stage,

In a hospital cage.

Where's my brain?

Scared 2 turn that page.

Drip drip,

Drip, drop, drip.

Stop them beeps,

Clickity click.

Blood stained hands,

N broken pans.

But a penny weighs a penny.

And a fag weighs a gram.

Shrinks n Docs have a meeting,

Am I there? Where's my seating?

2 of my minds often collide,

Forgotten goodbyes, forgotten greetings.

You take this n I'll take that,

Falling downstairs n baseball bats.

So give me more pills and ignore the meows,

Looking so scared as they tighten the sack.

I'm not really sure,

If I'm rotten to the core?

My mind's so blank,

Does anyone care anymore?

Sometimes it seems,

Life's just one long dream.

It was coffee one sugar,

N they skipped the cream.

Still, I had a good go,

Despite meds making me slow. 

Pharmacy's dealings,

Kept my brain from healing.

So here I am,

Mangled cold spam.

Only in my forties,

A blank brained man.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Give Me My Meds!

Wheres the coffee lady?

I'm Choca moca crazy.

Drink at least 10 a day,

N then I piss it all away.

On the headphones, 

Locked in a music zone.

Coz Golden Brown,

Used 2 lay me down.

N Sweet Child of Mine,

Gave the devil a fine. 

But I just want 2 bet,

But NHS WiFi won't let. 

Ran out of mobile data,

Opera VPN hater.

Hanging out of windows,

Get a 4G signal if close.

I still just wanna bet,

Am I a gambling addict yet? 

Weekend racing sun, 

Only betting is good fun. 

Wattsapp calls,

A patient falls.

I can b happy like herb,

Still use fuck as a verb.

Medical notes on me, 

Paranoid schizo I'll be. 

I ask pls get my clonazepam, 

Or I'll b talking 2 an invisible man. 

The pregabs n benzos, 

Keep me calm n mellow. 

But don't give em 2 me, 

We'll see how psychotic I can B. 

Don't want 2 hurt no one, 

But I can kick off n run. 

Security r just in my way, 

Get beaten but they'll pay. 

Broken spoon spike chiv, 

Not a nice gift to give. 

Don't tell me u ain't got my meds, 

Coz u won't put me 2 bed. 

NHS strapped cash, 

Always hv my own stash. 

Can't trust em 2 hv my pills,

Wud just screw wiv my will. 

So it's NHS v Rob Reid, 

N u expect me 2 not to feed. 

Sweets, gabs n Morphine, 

Keeps Rob nice n clean. 

Call me an NHS junky,

At least I'm not robbing ur Granny. 

Call me a hypocrite, 

See damage of constant hits.

Now I'm ending this Skrew,

N hope u learned something new.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Digging

Ultrasound, 

Vein found.

Scanner needed,

Nurses pleaded.

Veins very deep,

Chose 2 keep.

Arteries everywhere,

So dig with care.

Sharp scratch,

Nice catch.

Red flows in,

From a vertical pin.

2nd hand dartboard,

Diggers I ignored.

Happy nurses,

I hardly noticed.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved

Guess Now This is Life

Dying men,

Crying friends. 

Here 2 mend, 

Near their end. 

Hot coffee,

N sticky toffee.

Don't cry n plea, 

Let's look n see.

Open PC consoles,

Have a nose.

Blood pressure rose,

Coz my Mum showed.

Mental health,

List of wealth.

Psychotic dealt,

Depressive melt.

Just met a girl,

Used 2 bang n whirl.

Now a twig hurl,

Health dealt a curl.

Nepalese nurses,

Abandonded purses.

Mooching curses,

Open hearses.

Don't pay a fee, 

NHS is free.

Nice nurses 2 see, 

All helping me.

Not that they can, 

Off 4 a scan. 

This wasn't my plan, 

But I'm on life's ban. 

Guess now this is life,

Won't be getting a wife.

Not joining lowlife, 

I'll end mine with a knife.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid