Do The Largactil Shuffle....

It's close to midnight, and I see something in the dark,

It's my cell mate, he's having a noisy toilet fart.

I try to tell him nicely, to shut his loud asshole up,

Then he gets really angry, and we start to have a ruck.

Coz it's a Largactil, Largactil shuffle night,

A look into your empty eyes, and all they see is blight.

Coz you wobble to the left, and you dribble to the right,

Your walking like a sloth and your head just don't feel right.

But when the shit wears off I'm angry, and all I want to do is fight,

The guard's shields all go up, it's my turn to knock em down just right.

Bowling is a skill, but with screws, it's a powder keg,

Try to get 3 down in one, then grab tight on 2 a nearby leg,

If you're lucky n get a strike, they all plead n start to beg,

Promise 2 let you go free, as long as u let go of their peg.

But then the doctor comes in ur pad and he says its medication time,

I know what he means, but I don't need more time.

So they strap me to the bed and they, pull that plunger out,

A pin so long and thick, its contents make u wanna shout.

The lovely blue liquid in the barrel is shinning like a light,

Then they shove it in my ass cheek and pump the contents in nice n tight.

Then I'm drooling like a mong, and I got no mood to move,

And the guards who I rattled earlier, r laughing 2 the groove.

Coz this is Largactil, a Largactil shuffle night,

I'm walking like a mong, and I got no mood to fight.

I'm wobbling to the left, and dribbling on my top,

I got hunger pains, n want this liquid cosh to stop.

I try 2 eat some toast, but most falls on the floor,

And I think about it hard, and I don't wanna be here no more.

Coz a liquid cosh is plight, but it'll see u through the night,

Then u wake up like a mong, and suffer double sight.

I want to walk in a straight line, but my bodies got no fight,

N then I suddenly realise, that they used this cosh just right.

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

A Prison Ting

He was just a stupid young kid, jobless and broke,

But the prick tries robbing me and I think it's a joke.

Then a shank is produced, I see the blade through the smoke,

So I snap his arm in two and let him sleep in my choke.

Think nothing of it, coz it happens all the time,

But stupid plod cops want to nick me, for a non-crime.

Get a 6 o'clock knock, and see a long blue line,

And I'm remanded to Reading, to wait for court time.

Got nothing in my pockets but I kept a penny cheeked,

Least half an oz passes on visits, from week to week.

Throw cash devils way and he'll give you what you seek,

But guards beam on touching, so we pass cheek to cheek.

Got a smelly cell mate, who don't wash or pull the chain,

And another white yoof, talking black without no shame.

My tackles plugged 24/7, unless the boys have gone to play a game,

So I straighten tin pie wraps to smoke on, til a screw came.

Got a kicking in the cell and batons shave my shins,

A mattress beating at night and cell mates never see a thing.

I poke a screw in the throat and he chokes on my fings,

Then I'm stripped beat n battered, whilst I hear the screws sing.

A month in solitary, and I'm shitting in a hole,

Got roaches for company and a dark hearted soul.

My foods mixed with crushed glass, so I can't eat at all,

All coz a screw got a taste, and a heart black as coal.

Finally I'm acquitted, on a plea of self defence,

But the screw gets me nicked, just on offence.

Thought half the jury, would have sat on the fence,

But they all send me to chokey, to be confined with the dense.

So I'm back to prison, but this time it ain't no remand,

A crime I wouldn't call it, but still the record stands.

Hear that kids bredrins on the wing, shanks pass hands,

And I end up dead in the showers, stabbed on demand.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid