Vac Pump

Vac Pump

Bish bash bosh,

Had another cosh,

Woke up in the morning,

Now I need a blood soaked wash.

My vac pump is annoying,

I find it soul destroying,

Got man bag n tube on the shoulder,

But life I aint enjoying.

It's another lock down for me,

Stuck on bed watching TV,

Only peeps I speak 2 r few nurses,

But get tangled up when I wanna pee.

This damn things always beeping,

With wound sometimes severe leaking,

But I get bored jus lying on the bed,

But move anywhere n leg cud start seeping.

Its doing my nut nut right in,

Getting tangled tubes round a nearby bin,

I wanna scratch this deep hole right out,

But to the nurses it be a mortal sin.

So I'm either stuck here on the bed,

Or wake up after hacking, resting laptop on my head,

My time scales r way way upside down inside out,

Like someone's turned over my timer like an egg.

All I wanna do is go out n hav a walk,

Maybe meet some peeps n hav a talk.

But this canister full of leg soaked blood n shit,

Will only make ppl stare n gawk.

So I stay stuck like a COVID brick,

My self isolation is no self owned trick.

Sometimes wish I was back in Frimley Park HMP,

Sweet nurses beep beep call, n morphine lollies 2 lick.

So life right now aint nearly so so great,

But got to thank someone unknown for my fate,

And the scar etched in 2 my forehead,

Stands L for Lucky for stopping a yucky mucky deadly date.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Miss Communication

Hi there, I don't know if you remember me but I was up town last Saturday at the anti-lockdown protest. I saw you choke out that cop and then give him a good boot in the head. I filmed it on my phone and put it up on TikTok. It's already got over 100,000 views. I don't know if you saw me but I really liked your cahones. Get back to me as I am going up next weekend. Here's my address and mobile no.

Yes, I was there on the South bank giving the coppers a good beating. They deserved it. I didn't realise it was you who had filmed me and put me up on the Internet though. I saw myself choke him to the ground on Twitter the other night about twenty times and wondered how it had got there.

It was great, it was me, you are famous. Everyone in the anti-lockdown movement thinks your a hero for what you did. You really showed them we won't take any more. Are you coming up town next weekend?

Well to be honest I wish you hadn't had filmed me doing that at all. Once it was all over the web, I was facially recognised by those modern cameras cops all have in London and I had my door broken down in the week and got nicked for ABH. I have to go to court on Monday now, probably looking at a 5 stretch for assault on old bill. You really fucked my life up by putting that film online, you twat. When I get out I'm coming for you.

No reply.

Based on a lockdown protest in Germany...

Lets' have it, love to see blue get a taste of their own medicine. Bloke sure has balls to choke out a copper and now hes all over the web, cameras have their downsides. Hope he doesn't get into much sh!t for fighting back. https://t.co/KioRWxYIiD

— DarkPolitricks (@darkpolitricks) March 15, 2021

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

The Invitation....

In 2020, our country was given an invitation,

To stay together as one, continue living as one, as a liberty freedom loving nation,

But only a few ppl stayed back, huddled together at the train station,

Waving at full carriages trundling off, travelling to an unknown Chinese destination.

Still some of our people held tight, on to that special invitation.

They chose not to become, part of a true police state, a total surveillance nation.

Too many ppl disagreed, jailing themselves inside, praying for salvation.

More than a few wanted freedom, screw the USA, and bent Joe Biden.

The lobbyists and donors of course, had special back seat, White House invitations.

To witness a lying racist President, bowing down with glorified fake admiration.

He was only in the door a single day, b4 those men sent troops into other nations.

N “Liberals” cheered on, whilst CIA news anchors clapped, and started salivating.

However still some people kept on, wishing hard, holding on tight with their invitations.

But the smiling fat controllers had already imagined n designed great global inspirations.

Peoples bank balances got smaller, some sad few, enjoyed their emancipation,

Governments made sure small businesses suffered, whilst billionaires got full compensation.

A few specially selected, were welcomed with Internet invitations.

They laughed whilst it wasn't them, being de-ranked, with online damnation.

But then supposed Liberals, became free speech censors, with glee and twisted condemnation.

Until it was their time to get de-platformed, with powerful tech, censoring applications.

Only a few were left standing at the station, hoping wishfully with their invitations.

Disgusted by DAVOS, Bilderberg, and all those globalist creations.

Some went rioting, others refused their long term, untested vaccinations.

But many ppl allowed their freedoms to succumb, to permanent COVID regulations.

Myself I said sorry Gov, I don't want any police state, virus infected invitation.

And as for my subjugation, you better dose up my medications.

Coz my mind's splitting in half like cancer, as if bombed with radiation.

And I can't handle your changing logic, n all that Tory miss-communication.

So for the people that accepted, their Governments invitation.

They were told freedom would come, from a single vaccination.

Then it became mandatory masks, booster jabs, and yearly genetic alterations.

And don't forget it will never end, we have all those foreign born, evolving COVID mutations.

So for those of you that think, a magic solution, is in any Government invitation.

You're sorely mistaken, don't know real history, and in need of some proper education.

First they create a problem, and then they offer the people a solution.

Then they stand by to watch and profit, from a divided peoples, self annihilation.

The few that stayed back, threw away the rest of their invitations.

They were left in a bleak unsocial credit world, with no physical real, human relations.

Their only escape became, 3D holographic, fake techno creations.

But soon it became every non millionaires way, to take any kind of trip or holiday vacation.

So BoJo go screw yourself and our “special” Government invitations.

A year I've been imprisoned alone, state sanctioned under your regulations.

I spit on your safety laws, fines, and ordinance mandations.

Coz if the truth is “The Great Reset”, then it should be to REAL human mental elevation.

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

There were just two of us....

There are just 2 of us,

but that's still 2 many of us,

4 the nations new laws to allow us,

so the plod come n prime fine us.

£30 sheets 4 standing in a 2 man group,

stupid fine for not obeying hypocrites n dupes,

a fruit bug magic vaccine full of gloop,

it's apparently gonna fix the whole UK troop.

But don't dwell on any of it side effects,

let the old n unhealthy take it 1^st encase they defect,

then a new virus will grow n have the same effect,

millions of peeps stuck in home prisons unelect.

I don't really care for this new police state,

even the WHO said lockdowns were a mistake,

Dr Fauci made millions working in Wuhan on the take,

and I wouldn't be surprised if it weren't natural an a fake.

So go home, disperse or you'll be banged up,

and the masked cops don't socially distance as ur tucked up,

all they want is money, locations n your privacy's sucked up,

n if u ask me or others u'll find consensuses that it's all fucked up.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Happy New Year Skrew 2021

It's Happy New Year 2021, N I say Fuck U 2,

All lockdowns done has made my brain melt n make veins turn blue.

Stuck indoors all year long alone, wiv fuck all to do,

N if BoJo don't sort it out soon, then we'll fuck him right off too.

Still I lay down a scores bet, 2 anyone reading right here,

That in 365 days time we'll be repeating this night sat here.

Mutated viruses, Police State n fear porn right in ur ear,

Coz 2020 was just test mode, 2021 they're going full gear.

Lockdowns will be constant, state news rotting heads from inside,

Pigs r now allowed 2 stop u on a whim, jus 4 going on a ride.

Old ppl r so scared, they actually thank BoJo 4 locking them inside,

N Ill throw a 100 unwashed masks, 2 fill a shit pit, 100ft wide.

Coz if u aint been watching, Dems hero Biden is bent 100 n ten ways,

U thought Trump was a fool but he didn't start putting kids in a cage.

N he didn't privatise prisons, 2 lock up poor blacks, work 4 no wage,

He's jus gone n refilled that swamp, all the rich lobbyists hv bn paid.

600 dollars stimulus, when u've jus lost ur job n ur healthcare,

But still they paid 4 speed boats in Sri Lanka, without a single care.

Coz stimulus to Congress is Pork for people in need elsewhere,

N no progressive in “the squad”, will vote down Pelosi, they jus don't dare.

Coz 2021 is gonna be a hell of a year n one to definitely fear,

If I'm proved wrong on this, I'll happily buy u all a beer.

But if I'm forced to work 4 Amazon, pls giv us a heartfelt cheer,

When I look around #altnews all I see is pure logic n real fear.

All the Great Reset is, nothing but a Global Great Defect,

N not one educated knowing want, or will readily accept.

The 1% in charge will love it, those with dark secrets kept,

But the 550'll still be blogging it, as long as there’s still an Internet.

So turn on ur VPN, Peerblock port 80, and uTorrent from this week,

Coz soon u'll be banged up with me, all 4 unapproved Re-Tweets.

The Chinese Orwellian Biden Presidency will hv u marching to their beat,

Until enuff brave tools grow tall, n get up marching on their feet.

2021 is a turning point and one we must get ready for,

Useless untested vaccines with side effects, still they'll stick em in ur pores.

You'll own nothing, have no privacy, but be happy, what else cud u want more?

And if u don't believe me, it's gone mainstream, just read a little more!

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

This Is A Shit Show....

Do you believe the countries gone insane?

Fruit drink bugs gonna eat your brain,

Please someone come feel my pain,

Coz I'm alone, stone broke and afraid.

So many unnecessary people dying,

And big men are heart broke, dropped crying.

Dickhead selfish off panic buying,

An all police want to do is fuckin cite me.

Because my health is a fucking shit show,

On more meds than ten Grannies I know.

Blood eeks from the leaks, legs on show,

An bubbles pop from the snot on nose blows.

It's a sweat tank, drip drop, sorry state to be,

And Gandalf's beards half grown face on me.

Grey whiskers and no razors I can see,

Sofa dove already, one two twenty pee.

All tin cans, been scanned, and bin bagged,

Rotten fruit but it's the best meal I've had.

Got no idea if I'll ever see my Mum and Dad,

When I go out, scarf wrapped face, tight clad.

Coz this Town is a fucking shit show,

And my mental health is nagging bad, full blown.

My inner brains having a decent chat show,

And I'm socially isolated, nowhere to go.

Coz I can't even make some decent Ps,

Nags aint running, bookies closed on high street.

I need some soft paper to wipe my underneath,

But got no petrol to fly off to the heath.

Coz it seems like this worlds in martial law,

It's a sign many have seen years before.

I'd be surprised if they relaxed all new laws,

Get used to sweating hot all summer indoor.

I swear I got bugs sucking thoughts from my brain,

Not a days passed that I've been half sane.

Only got a Pot Noodle and half a can of K,

And not a single neighbours asked if I'm okay.

Coz this countries a fucking shit show,

BoJo clown, Tory fucking road show.

Every booked ops gonna be a no show,

And I'd risk ten new fines to make some quick dough.

So this rope here is going to stay,

You never know I might need to use it one day.

I let it swing back n forth an give it a play,

Then kick the chair, doped choked, merry on my way.

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Fuck Facebook....

So go fuck Facebook,

    fake friends,

    and fucked faced,

    Facebook wannabes.

Your profiles prob all been cloned,

    so I only seen,

    what I wanna see,

    yet never seen.

20 year old dole blogs, arguing, musing,

    I could have been,

    I should have been,

    why wasn't I a “been”?

And decades year old school friends,

    Snapshoted and crop shotted,

    where I wanna be, could have been,

    yet never seen.

Fuck fake face pretends,

    big bell ends,

    past wanna bees,

    and ancient beauty queens.

Facefuck's trade is soaring,

    scammers' is roaring.

    posters selling, fake post pretending, miss-telling,

    but never ever, sending.

Southern beauty Queens,

    spots never seen and endless video streams,

    of automatic wet dreams,

    could have, should have beens, but sadly never to be's...

Got a dozen more “friend” requests to send,

    then I'll have tons more “friends”,

    in my "fiend list" than your "friend list", even if it never ends,

    but sadly from clicks you didn't, but wish you'd really sent.

And now every Thursday night,

    is weekly indoors street party night,

    support health workers rights,

    nurse our Boris Johnsons tight.

Otherwise society will get offended,

    because when society isn't shaped and bended,

    and when it's time to rhyme along, we get along, so sing along,

    and clap and salute, right?

It's 8 O'clock no?

    The Sun says so, so it must be so,

    porch or window, put on a good show,

    coz it's patriots time and not clapping could never be a crime....

But shouldn't the NHS be funded right,

    for all times, all come, day and night,

    not just in case of virus times,

    like this emergency fruitbug crime?

So sorry Mr OAP,

    your name forgets me,

    but the Mail,

    always kindly, and daily, reminds me.

I really don't appreciate being told,

    daily, needlessly re-sold,

    about your patrioticy, your charity,

    lapping your lawn as I drink my morns cup of tea.

You'd be sitting in silk slippers son,

    drinking pints of Rum,

    not in photos with Daily n Scum,

    if was up to me.

But you're not, you're just another Facebook meme,

    been sent off the best team.

    A striker Besties never seen,

    yet just more Facefucked news to read!

© 2020 Robert Reid – All Rights Reserved

Finally They Come....

They finally come out to my homeless park BBQ, 

Get to the back jack, be quiet, and just queue queue queue,

Burned meat and charcoal but at least it aint your Mum's chunky stale stew.

So just stick it in your mouth peeps, and just chew chew chew.

It's a summer time rhyme with plenty of nonsensical lines,

Plenty of time, so we pack the bongs nice, fat and tight.

We pass the tube round and round til the moon fades at night.

Staring at the birds looking so so fine, getting a smile if you glance just right.

Summer time crew and we all say “Fuck the boys in blue”,

Put four cops together and get the brains of just two.

Let them run round, fining unmasked devils in shops and queues,

Sticking our fingers up as they pass, coz we all hate hypocrites in blue.

Coz we're all here lying out in the shinning, beaming hot sun,

And its double hard now trying to get some real fun for some.

Boys n girls are raving to the max, all popping molly one by one,

And that blonde in the thong has got my dong throbbing like a drum, bom bom.

We're out all night til the moon comes up, and then it leaves and goes,

Lying on the grass letting weeds grow through my ten duff toes.

Night changes to light and the crew whittles, as peeps start to go off home,

But I wake up on my own, with no home to go back to, all alone.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Rob Reid - Competition Winner

This won The Creative Writing Groups bi-monthly Competition for Best Poem August 2020