PLEASE HELP KEEP OUR CREATIVE WRITING GROUP ALIVE!

 

Please help keep our Creative Writing group alive as funding has been cut as the Government doesn't think Creative Writing is a good way to help people with mental health issues. They prefer 3-hour lectures where you get a certificate at the end for listening to information you already know.

This site, all my stories, and poems, plus the whole style of Skrew poetry all came from this class. 

Without it I would be stuck at home bored without a good way to let out my thoughts. Please have a read of some of my poems, and stories (links down the right hand side), if you want to see what I have managed to achieve since starting this course,

Any size of donation would be appreciate. Click the image or go to this link to donate > Go Fund Me.

District Nurse

Buzz, buzz, buzz,

It's 3pm n there's ladies at my door.

I don't think I'm in any luck,

Still they want my pants on the floor.

Oh District Nurse, Ladies first,

Come in n scratch my holes.

Please don't make it worse,

I wouldn't want to reverse them roles.

I may still need 2 instruct them,

On the tools of their trade.

A vacuum pump in action,

With faulty errors on display.

One nurse is the lucky one,

As she always gets to visit me.

She never complains less ten bits,

But that's why she's the trainee.

She don't know a black hole from a white one,

Its just all stuff out in space.

The only hole she wants 2 invade,

Is the one in my special place.

They come n change that foam,

Cut some more sticky tape.

I think there should be a website,

To ask a nurse out on a date.

"Come see my hole",

Would be my profile tag.

Then a rush of nurses,

Swipe right 2 see my vacuum bag.

Sometimes they come in one's,

Sometimes they come in two's.

The whole area needs training,

They all need 2 see my hole ooze.

Patch me up n empty that canister,

Leave all their fluff on my floor.

They don't even bother 2 clean up,

Before they're sharpish out my door.

Oh n then there's the District Nurse,

Tall n lovely but a screw loose in her head.

She can undrill it with no fuss,

And we compare hole puss on the bed.

But trainee District Nurse,

It's the last time that we meet.

Do 1 last thing before leave,

N give me your digits for a treat?

I promise it wouldn't be perverse,

My blood pressures 2 low for hot sex.

But we could have phone conversed,

N let me send u pics of my hole by text.

Then you could come n visit,

N look in my hole just for fun.

I'm just so very glad,

That I can't see over my own bum.

With you looking in my hole,

And me looking over ur back,

I think there's a crap film on TV,

I think Mrs Doubtfire's back.

So many District Nurses have come 2 visit,

Plodding n trodding mess up my stairs.

But they always have the best laugh,

As they rip out all my hairs.

I'm happy to have met you nurses,

N I hope u enjoyed healing my hole.

I might just have 2 get a new one,

Just to see you all.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid