V2

So what the fuck to do?

Got 4 letter  agencies following me like a crew.

GROK says they monitor my news,

So I'm not paranoid if it's true.

I'm not running from them or gonna split,

So get the whistle out for a lick.

No one ever passes the white quick,

N I always make sure I ain't gear sick.

Crank that pranged dub step,

But pay me back, never forget.

I'm not a man that likes debt,

So you got to put my wallet bak on reset.

Got no need to sell my soul,

The Devil's already found a hole.

Am I really sinking into Lucifer's control,

Coz it's all rehash from Prometheus's role.

I swear I don't need a gun,

I swear I don't even own a gun,

I swear I don't have a gun,

BANG BANG, your gone!

What do you expect?

I'm a man prone to neglect.

A suspicious brain full of suspect,

And I hardly feel any regret.

 

I got an exchange for change,

But U can't ask me to behave.

I got this world firm in my range,

N only this simulation will age.

Coz these are the end times,

So why not enjoy our crimes.

Before the four horses ride,

And the 6 headed beast arise.

This is AI's final takeover,

We can't be saved by a Biblical Passover.

It's Terminator Skynet time war,

So what the fuck we waiting for?

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Queen

Brooding mare, striking hair, 

Rebellious our Queen, Boadicea,

Red, white and blue,

She was the English overseer.

Her chariot storms the troops, 

Romans shaken with fear,

Arrows fly like sparrows, 

Axe weilded against spear. 

Her hair browny, red and firey, 

Ends plated with blood flares, 

She storms the Latin invaders,

Striking Romes soldiers with dare.

Battling for her home and people, 

Against the Roman legions, 

Smash, blood, and crackle,

She leads the British region. 

Faces painted with blue paint, 

Rolling bales of tar aflame, 

Soldiers run and dive for cover, 

"Holy Zeus", Centurions exclaim. 

Romans sent by Emperor Hadrian, 

Lost became the fate of the 9th legion. 

Due to our killer Queen Boadicea, 

The Romans were eventually beaten. 

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

(This won the Facebook Group competition May 2025)

Ghost Parties

I'm constantly partying with Ghosts,

My dead friends being the hosts.

We rave to House in my dreams,

Lots of sweets n unlimited means.

Cream cakes, booze n smack,

Pregabs, ice cream, an ickle of crack.

Chilling, watching comedy n chat,

Making designs for all r new tats.

We gouch out, giggle n laugh,

Telling old stories of R mad past.

But my lost friends are all in ma head,

I only get to party with the dead.

N at the end I tell em I'll phone.

Then I wake up n realise I'm all alone.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Head Shrink

Do you internally think?

Thinking you need a head shrink?

Twenty one eyed wobbly blinks,

Coz a voice in ur heads linked.

I'm schizo, rizo, paranoid dizo,

Anxious, rancorous, mentally smart tho.

Twitchy itchy, living in a kill zone,

Always searching, looking 4 my birth clone.

Has ur brain gone wonky?

Working like a 3 legged donkey?

Planning to throw a ghost party?

Led astray by your monkey?

Coz depression is a constant mission,

Brain atoms split like nuclear fission.

Bed sweats from constant pillow kissin,

Want 2 take a dive n go forever missing.

Got bed rot, n old blood clots,

Never gonna be back at top spot.

Get arrested 4 a hot shot,

N nicked 4 murder by dumb cops.

So go and get ur meds filled,

I'm over scripted like a cow field.

My chemist always has the good pills.

But nothing takes away my brain ails.

Maybe ma heads always gonna be fucked,

Internal plumbing needs a plunge suck.

But what can I do about this head fuck?

Maybe I've just run out of luck?

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Back Again

Trolleys rolling,

Kettles boiling,

Phone scrolling,

Nurses scolding.

Head pains,

Blood stains,

Muddled brains,

PAL complaints.

A Bell rings,

A Bet wins,

A needle stings,

No phone rings.

Hot showers,

Doctor power,

Visiting hours,

R lonley hours.

Here once more,

F6 upper floor,

Locked med drawer,

My bodies poor.

Never ends,

Mind bends,

Thoughts 2 pen,

I'm back again.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Death

Today I got told my friend is dead,

Seems every time I'm in a hospital bed.

Another pal walks thru heavens gate,

My generation has a deadly fate. 

Is 47 the age of my crews death? 

Coz too many hv taken last breaths. 

In 2 yrs I've lost over 15 mates, 

Too many died a grizly fate. 

My bodies ragged n my brains boiled, 

I got no veins n all my organs R soiled. 

Ppl say I'm next on deaths list, 

Tbh I'd rather skip this life a miss. 

If I do go don't be sad or ask why, 

I've jus spent 2 long in pains cry....

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

5 Dead Boys

5 dead boys sitting on a wall,

5 innocent souls waiting for a fall.

5 young kids who didn't know fuck all,

5 of us boys, just waiting for deaths call.

First there was Ozzy,

He was my good mate,

But he sucked on gas for fun,

Got frozen lungs for his fate.

Second was my mate Gav,

He took one too many sweets,

Was found dead in his Mums bath,

Fully clothed with sunken feet.

They were both my friends,

Now they're both dead,

No one cared but old bill,

Murder arrests, local papers said.

Then was Mario in Spain,

We toked n walked the sand,

He danced n touched the wrong girl,

Shot by Russian mob, with cut off hands.

N then my old time mate Luke,

Banged, then drunk til his liver was toast.

Cancer spread through him like the plague,

He was a skeleton, dying on the South Coast.

They were all my good friends,

Now they're all brown bread,

I'll be next the Devil said to me,

Making no 5, to join em he said.

5 dead boys were all sat on a wall,

5 dead boys all strutting tall.

Look for those 5 boys they didn't deserve their fall,

But we all die someday, so heed that call.

© 2025 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Planned Obsolescence

We're all just planned obsolescence,

All r bodies sitting on a fence.

Don't dare spend another cent,

Our GDP relies on all R debt.

We're like a broken TV set,

A resisters gone, I'd hv a bet.

So go think ur TV is a wreck,

N spend a grand on credit debt. 

We r all just cogs in their machine, 

A Robber Barrons Capitalist dream. 

There ain't no good life 2 b seen, 

Your just funding politicians dreams.

What happened to the socialist parties? 

They swerved 2 the right 4 lobbiest smarties. 

Arthur Scargil n his worker armies,

All got beat by SAS horse rodees. 

Northern towns all turned dead, 

No jobs, dole was 3 million a head. 

So people turned 2 drugs n death,

N £ spent, cud hv kept jobs instead. 

We need a new peoples party, 

No lobbying n £ spent properly. 

No endless wars, debt is costly, 

Nationalise our shit, R train traks R all rusty. 

We're all just planned obsolescence, 

The world's breaking the global fence. 

N if u think this lifes 4 u, ur pretty dense, 

I said my rhyme, that's my 2 cents. 

© 2025 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Goodbye Dad

This goodbye poems to my Dad,

It's the hardest poem pen 2 pad,

N makes me so, so, sad, 

I'm so, so, sorry I made u crazy mad. 

Sorry for the short candle wick, 

I know I was a proper dick. 

Fucking about, getting nicked, 

Fighting police n acting a prick. 

Sometimes I thought we'd actually fight,

Drunken rows n throwing r might. 

It didn't matter who was right.

I'd B upstairs angry 4 the night. 

Argued over the kitchen table,

About war, politics, n news fables. 

I was painted with a black label, 

We'd make Mum cry, N go unstable.

I was ignored from around 14,

True, I was prob an awful teen. 

But Lorna seemed 2 get all the glean, 

Though she seemed just as mean. 

I know I was on drugs very young,

Toking dubs, banging, acting dumb. 

Still u always held ur tongue.

Even tho I was a black sheep son. 

All those police 6 clock knocks, 

I used to wake at 6 on the dot. 

Pigs searching thru my pants n socks,

Me standing in 2 many court docks. 

Sorry Dad for all the knocks on ur door, 

Cops raiding ur home, crimes 2 the core. 

All my clothes thrown on the floor, 

I couldn't hv got arrested any more. 

It was only later on we got on,

After I left home n got on my own. 

U seemed to treat me like a son, 

On Thursdays, we even had some fun. 

We used to hav joy down the lake,

Walking in the woods a Sunday take.

Chewing the chud for no good sake, 

N fishing with our hands ffs! 

U always helped me out, wen I was stuck,

Didn't matter the price in bucks. 

Car crashes, n cash wen I clucked, 

Any help I needed, I was in luck.

U became more of a mate than a Dad,

N this is what screws me bad. 

Wish I made most of the time we had.

And it cuts me deep 2 not B ur lad.

I'll be going away soon for good,

Nothing can stop it I wish I cud.

I did something bad, I knew I wud, 

So I hope we both understood.

That I love u Dad whatever I did,

Pissed disputes, cop raids n shit.

Police can do one, I'm still ur kid.

I wish my life was different, every bit. 

I was going to be there at ur end,

But shits happened I can't pretend.

Not 2 B with u drives me round the bend. 

I leave u with sadness hope u ken?

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Simulation Theory

U can call me a joker,

A fent abused smoker. 

But I got a good excuse,

This world's a game of poker.

I want to get back home,

Coz this world ain't my zone. 

U can all call me mad,

But ur all NPC drones.

My world got blown up,

A nuclear war was thrown. 

My body woke in a chair,

Sick, ill, this Sim is known. 

I need to get out of here,

Back to the world I cheer. 

I know ur all not real,

Want to make that clear.

Half u NPCs don't hv names, 

I'm playing PlayStation games. 

Stuck as the only RPC, 

No offence this Sim is lame. 

My Sim is a waste land,

NATO nuke war all planned.

But Russian hypersonics won,

N we all turned into sand.

So pls get me back home,

No more Ukrainian drones. 

Need some DMT to see reality 

To tell me what is known.

Stuck in a Sim that ain't mine,

U NPCs walk round just fine,

But I know this ain't reality,

I'm stuck with a bent out mind.

Need some help to get back,

Pls help me I'm on a sick rack,

My body ain't even my own,

Go on joke, n think I'm wack.

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Goodbye Mum

Goodbye, goodbye,

Goodbye Mum.

I'm so sorry, sorry for,

Being your son.

Your roast dinners,

Were something to boast.

But I'm sad u never got to live,

Ur days out by the coast.

I know u probably stayed,

To look out over me.

N I'm so sorry for them cops,

Breaking in urs with no key.

I know I was no good, 

At following your rules.

N I shouldn't hv been misled, 

By so many idiots n fools. 

You taught me so well, 

Probably better than school. 

But life is a bitch,

N I just acted the fool. 

The life that I wanted, 

Just wasn't in store.

N the life that I lived,

I just couldn't handle no more.

But I love u so Mum, 

Just pls know that it's true.

N all u did for me, 

Was more than u knew. 

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

I'm Sorry Sis

I'm sorry sis, 

I'm sorry sis, 

I wish I knew. 

But to be honest, 

I ain't got a clue. 

I'm sorry sis, 

What did I do to u? 

I was your brother, 

But then we broke in 2.

I'm sorry sis, 

But I protected u. 

When we moved here, 

I took the bullying from u.

I'm sorry sis, 

If I became that kid,

Became ur bully, 

To stop other kids rip.  

I'm sorry sis,

If I was a twat at school.

But if I had to look,

There was just us two. 

I'm sorry sis, 

We couldn't make up.

I know I hung with bad,

Played in no super cup.

Im sorry sis, 

But u don't understand.

The life I had, 

Sure wasn't planned.

Im sorry sis,

I didn't kill ur friends bro.

What ur mad about,

I sure dont know.

I'm sorry sis,

If life at home was shit,

But to be fair,

U done ur fair bit.

I'm sorry sis,

But u got all the love.

N there I was,

A boxed off bruv.

I'm sorry sis,

That its now too late.

You'll get my share,

As I accept my fate.

I still love u sis,

Despite all I've done.

I can't say it to ur face,

But what's done is done. 

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Go To Bed

The nurse said "go 2 bed", 

But Creepy Nicks on the Neb?

You must hv fish in ur head,

Go make me a coffee instead. 

Ur waking everyone up! 

Said the nurse with my coffee cup. 

Well sorry ur out of luck, 

N I really don't give 2 fucks. 

I've not slept for 5 nights,

My mates r all dying n I'm in fright. 

Call security if u wanna fight, 

They may punch out my lights. 

I told them I need a sleeper, 

N don't want any time machine creeper. 

If it's zopiclone u can keep it, 

I wanna a oggmie so I sleep a bit.

Ppl are being disturbed by you!

Said the agency staff with no clue. 

Go open ur bowels n hv a poo, 

Fuck it ill take some clonz 2 chew. 

Your bad language is upsetting ppl! 

Soz my lingo is street n ur unequal, 

You upset me daily n it's sequel, 

A bad start 2 the day it's prequel.

My hospital life is getting boring, 

Can't stand Jim with his snoring. 

Lesley's lost his elephant, ur choring, 

N I can't stand the cop next 2 me I'm ignoring.

Pls go 2 bed n try rest ur head! 

They wake me up all night, its a waste of a bed. 

I'd rather stay in Highdown prison instead. 

At least I'd get a kip, even if I end up dead. 

© 2024  All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

The Contract

Like Robert J I sold my soul, 

It wasn't 4 fame but 2 cut a hole. 

It wasnt at the crossroad, 

And no horned Satan glowed. 

Just a plain man in a suit, 

But that bloke sure chat cute.

That slick speaking devil n me, 

Signed a contract we agreed. 

I jus wanted 2 protect my death. 

So I sold an ounce of my flesh.

Definitely no hell for me, 

So there was no nd 2 plea. 

For wen I croak not to go to hell, 

He had me under some spell. 

There was no blood, no pain,

And yet no one can explain. 

Ambulance men confused, 

Dox N nurses all bemused.

All the old Chaplens here, 

Have been bent on my ear. 

Saying he's a evil trickster, 

There's no kind of quick fixer. 

Must b a psychotic break, 

Or maybe a schizo mistake. 

But why won't u believe, 

If u finally received.

A visit from ur deity, 

Don't u believe wat u see? 

A visit from the Devil or God, 

R u trippin wat do u find odd? 

Jus hallucinating ur belief, 

Or ur religiosity is jus disbelief. 

So don't doubt my sanity, 

Wen over half the planet agrees. 

That those opposites exist, 

Maybe my contract still exists?

© 2024 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Devils Chop Shop

I'm here visiting the devil's chop shop, 

A place reason n time seemingly forgot. 

I'm sat here in Heavens waiting room,

Its Limbos Limbo, competition soon.

For all the fun for all 2 see,

I don't like it, here, in purgatory.

Take them symbols from that mon-key,

N let's make this brain more fun-ky.

My brains a trycylic 90s pass by,

I Don't dare take dem SNR-I.

Unless u wanna see mental drought,

All life source, sucked right out.

Like an IDF double tap casual-ty,

I'm Harry Kanes missed penal-ty.

The Devil's NHS ain't exactly the, best,

But I just love Nepalese hospital bed, rest.

Its so easy being on a ward I know,

N I don't really want to pack up n go. 

Outside is just pain for my scratchy brain,

Tik Tok sound pound, I've gone again.

Hecticness n debt collectors,

Pikies want me, head protectors.

Don't waste time make appointment,

I'm a senile parental disappointment.

So I better getta lift up soon.

Heavens alien base stuck on the moon.

N then I'll be able to rest my mental pain,

No fake friend pretends, I'm God again. 

© 2023 – All Rights Reserved

Scrambled Heads

Let's go mumbling, bumbling without care,

Pink pixie queen, chose my lacey underwear. 

I make a livin pickin chicken teeth off da floor,

Den I go n fence em, 2 a sewer livin, troll of a whore. 

Coz I'm just a lil scamp, with a brain full of scrambled eggs, 

Holes n green gunk, yep I've got bad legs.

Slipped pins thru ma skin, 4 30yrs like a chore,

It's da kinda shit, I don't want 2 do no more.

Used 2 hv teeth, dat shined bright n glowed, 

But I pickaxed dem like da cavities, in dis flow, 

Mr green became too clean, n boring 4 me

But hopefully I'll get a bag of ticks, by half past 3.

So I'll post this Skrew, up bit by bit,

N If I can't rhyme the dime in time, I ain't worth shit. 

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Patients

Winding willows,

Blood stained pillows.

Dinlow patients,

I'm out of patience.

Red raw back,

Need a life hack. 

They dope me up,

As soon as I'm up.

Nothing to see here, 

Wrapped curtain clear. 

Be a gentle buttercup,

or I'll mess u right up.

Blood in my hands,

No one understands.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Run....

Run....Run....Run....Run,

I got paranoia apparently,

Keep thinking ppl R after me.

Twilight garden mirrors reflect,

N I skrew my body with neglect.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run,

From shadows in the dark,

N strangers in the park.

I'm a Schizo says the NHS,

But I blather shit best left at rest.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run,

From cold sweat horror dreams,

With no idea what they mean.

I'm a hospital club card member,

Pls don't rip if I don't remember.

My life's been on medical hold,

A hospital annoyance bolshie n bold.

So I,

Run....Run....Run....Run.

My days R getting shorter,

Should I hv bn a 40 yr old aborter? 

But I never know what's coming,

So that's why I keep on running.

Run....Run....Run....Run.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Hotel Frimley Park

(To the tune of Hotel California)

Welcome to the Hotel Frimley Park,

Such a lovely place, 

Such a happy face. 

Hardly any room at the Hotel Frimley Park. 

Any time of year, 

You won't find beds here. 

So welcome to the hotel Frimley Park, 

We got lovely staff, 

N an expensive car park.

Such a lovely place,

Smiling happy face.

So welcome to ward F6, 

we're all bed bound,

Lights off at 10, 

don't dare make a sound.

Pls don't piss yourself, 

Or dare shit yourself. 

Nurses just love changing wet smelly bed sheets, 

It's joy for them, they tuck em in prison neat. 

Rolling to the left bar as they yank it out, hard feel the pain, 

Then a roll to the right, and the same shit repeats again. 

Don't get monged out n cause rampages over missing food, 

The nurses will shout about, but they dosed u good.

If you rampage 2 much Security might get called, 

But ur NHS high, so they just get eye balled. 

But don't ever josh n joke with ur bay mates, 

Or flip right out n smash ur dinner plates. 

They will dose u up,

just to shut you up.

Don't even think about leaving Hotel Frimley Park,

You won't get very far, 

Might even break your leg,

in our very own car park. 

I used to love coming to hotel Frimley Park, nearly every year,

3 hot meals a day, power shower n no bed bound tears.

This is a mad n sad, summer holiday for me, 

Roasting outside, our bay all feels the heat. 

So welcome to Hotel Frimley Park,

HMP prison lights off early, so we tap phones in the dark.

I got a mobile, money and a tablet,

Royal Ascots on, so they feed my habit.

My left leg is still leaking everywhere, brown shit,

Not that the nurses can ID, the crumbly bitz.

I got a new big old hole from unknown shit in my left calf, 

Not that I can get anything done, not with these numpty staff. 

So welcome to the majesty's HMP Frimley Park.

We have NAZI nurses, 

that will leave u wet in the dark.

Just don't piss in the bed,

You'll be shipped off 2 another ward instead. 

I think I've been around the block in Hotel Frimley Park. 

Too many wards I've seen, 2 much madness in the dark.  

Life throws u lemons, and u have to make do, 

Just remember those Nepalese names, in case u need to sue. 

They all babble together at the desk in Smurf, 

So I never worry, or give a shit if I curse. 

I swear 4 verbs, adjectives and even nouns, 

N if u don't like the sound of it, go swivel u pussy clouns. 

Apparently Frimley HMP says I'm mentally ill,

I'm paranoid schizo, psychotic n probably ready 2 kill.

So they dose me up in the day to try n keep me quiet,

Turning half my brain off, then complaing about a chocolate éclair riot.

All I want 2 do is itch my broken cast covered leg, 

Still I know they r going to turf me out, with 2 fucked pegs. 

So welcome to Hotel Frimley Park, 

It's a deadly place, n will leave it's mark. 

We have unhappy staff, 

U will get scolded 4 having a laugh. 

It's my summer holiday, 

N I've had too many stayz.

I just etch the wall and count up the days. 

One day I might get out of this ward n Hotel Frimley Park. 

I'll be climbing scaffolding, one leg in the dark.

N if you ever find a broken body, with 2 duff legs,

Just think of me on discharge day only to break my "good" leg.

©2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Blank

Blank, blank, 

Blankety Blank,

Got no wheels with throttle,

My life is wank.

I've got to that stage,

In a hospital cage.

Where's my brain?

Scared 2 turn that page.

Drip drip,

Drip, drop, drip.

Stop them beeps,

Clickity click.

Blood stained hands,

N broken pans.

But a penny weighs a penny.

And a fag weighs a gram.

Shrinks n Docs have a meeting,

Am I there? Where's my seating?

2 of my minds often collide,

Forgotten goodbyes, forgotten greetings.

You take this n I'll take that,

Falling downstairs n baseball bats.

So give me more pills and ignore the meows,

Looking so scared as they tighten the sack.

I'm not really sure,

If I'm rotten to the core?

My mind's so blank,

Does anyone care anymore?

Sometimes it seems,

Life's just one long dream.

It was coffee one sugar,

N they skipped the cream.

Still, I had a good go,

Despite meds making me slow. 

Pharmacy's dealings,

Kept my brain from healing.

So here I am,

Mangled cold spam.

Only in my forties,

A blank brained man.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid