Mr Mentalist

Mr Mentalist please, can u let me get out of my bed,

Mr Depression has called and I want 2 go back 2 the dreams that I had.

He always calls when I fail, and makes me wish I was dead.

Please Mr Mentalist please, can you let me rest my own head.

But now I've dragged myself up I'm freaky deaking right out,

Old friend Mr Anxiety has visited n given me a hard sharp clout.

Please Mr Mentalist can u give me some pills to calm my self-doubt,

I can't find my phone or keys and I'm flipping right out.

I go from zero to a hundred in a flick of an eye,

People think I'm crazy mazy when they hear me swear n cry.

All I wanted to do was get my laptop 2 work n comply,

But now I'm a swearing freak and people look at me n sigh.

Oh please Mr Mentalist can you sort out my paranoid feelings,

I keep hearing ppl on mute just thinking I'm not worth dealing.

All I want is someone to come n give me some proper mental healing,

But I don't trust nobody to come in here n walk out without stealing.

I know the old rhyme, that Paranoia will destroy ya,

But I hear silent ppl on my screen bitching and laughing "ha ha".

I got that feeling that all the ppl r just looking at me jotting all my flaws,

I can't relax at all, n my paranoid shoulder monkey is ripping, bear claw.

So please Mr Mentalist, can you do me a massive favour,

I got the schizo twitcho ithcos, with no sign of a saviour.

Leaves r raining down with flashing lights n my mind is all misbehaviour,

I'm scared I'll do something crazy n stupid, and I need a lifesaver.

All the shrinks say I'm just screwed up and they can't even help,

I'm ashamed to be ashamed, coz I just wanna it all dealt.

I get letter after letter saying I need to do my own self-help,

If I could sort my own crazy out, I would have if I could have, but it's pure agony to self.

So please Mr Mentalist can you make people understand me,

That I ain't angry on purpose and I just want people to like me.

It's seeming more n more like this world don't have a place for me,

And for anyone to relate it's 2 late, I'm just a thorn on a big mad tree.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

This is also published on the Mary Francis Trust Website for their Mental Health, Time To Talk Day > https://www.maryfrancestrust.org.uk/poem-mr-mentalist/

POEM: "MR MENTALIST"
To support #TimeToTalkDay our Creative Writing Group led by Michele has come up with a series of wonderful and heartfelt pieces discussing mental health stigma.
This fifth piece is a poem called “Mr Mentalist” written by Robert.https://t.co/Vnww2X0Uk5 pic.twitter.com/nmolTPsXGb

— Mary Frances Trust (@MaryFrancesTrst) February 3, 2022

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The Wee Little Beastie

The wee little beastie was Scottish n stout,

Had a wee dram and liked to fight n shout.

Coz that wee little beastie was a drinker no doubt,

He would blather n blither n giv his wife a good clout.

Coz his sporran an whistle was a kit so fine,

A more colourful kilt ne'r been seen til this time.

An he would wabble n wibble an sing on wine,

A more drunk wee beastie cud only exist in rhyme.

Ma old Scottish granny would walk wiv me on sand dunes,

She was my wee little gran n used to sing us wee tunes.

In da back of ma pa's car, she wud make long drives happy afternoons,

"Och Aye The Noo" and singing Scottish madness to the moon.

She would smoke like a chimney n sometimes gave me a puff,

A drag of snout so young, probably got me hooked on the stuff.

I took a very long drag and the blow out gave me a ruff cough.

N I soon got a taste for them, n I couldn't get enough..

Sunny afternoon's, n we would all go for a drive,

My sister n gran in the back, when I was only a wee five.

She used to sing a song, about an old lady, who swallowed a fly,

We didn't know why she swallowed that fly, but we hoped she didn't die.

She used to live in a high rise flat, that reached into the clouds,

Looking over the Queen of the South's ground, we could see all the crowds.

I wanted to go along to the footie, but I wasn't allowed,

But I wanted to show off my boot n shoot, n make ma pa proud.

N there was the trip up north when had to say goodbye to ma grandma,

It was a sad old time coz we would see her no more.

Aye the funeral was sad but the wake was no chore,

We told tales of lore as the men sat n chat, n lots of whisky was poured.

Now every year on Rabbie Burns night we sit and take turns,

From her book of Robbies poetry passed down, we all pretend to be Burns.

I like the "Wee Little Beastie " rhyme, coz it's a tale of concern,

And we all jibber n jabber, an drink until midnight comes.

On this day in January, we eat the traditional dish of Haggis tatties n neeps,

Och aye it's a Scottish dish alright, coz it's made on the cheap.

It's just potatoes, swede, n a sheeps stomach gut, filled with meat,

But it tastes so fine n it's a habit we Reid's like to keep.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Happy New Year Skrew 2022

It's a fucking Ho Ho, 20 22,

N a happy Omicron New Year to U.

I'm sorry 2 say that the news is true,

That the UK Gov is legally spying on U.

I said it many times n years B4,

That we'd all B getting a Social Credit Score.

It's something most people chose 2 ignore,

Now nothings private inside your very own door.

From physical to mental health probs,

To ur ability n right to get decent jobs.

N crimes committed or assumed by plastic Bobs,

To ur lifestyle choices n whether ur lazy slobs.

Yes China's been used as the West's test bed,

And a few million Uyghurs R probably already dead.

Bill Gates quotes about Commies can easily B found n read,

N the Billionaire class got richer whilst we all bled.

Its blatant they used COVID 2 bend us all over,

Now posh suits think they can jus walkover.

It's like a 3 year old Plandemic sick hangover,

And R rights R left rotting like XMAS dinner leftovers.

Now don't go thinking that I'm jus joking, 

Coz I aint been bong smoking or even herb toking.

The Government's plan aint even had any cloaking,

From new laws raining down we'll all B wet soaking.

If you wanna check it out just go read my site,

I got links to Government laws that'll set u right.

Some Spanish Docs think vaccines weren't even made right,

N even BBC admits a third of the jabbed feel pure shite. 

These leaky vaccines r nout but ching for Big Pharma,

Maybe 1 day these companies will get their own Karma.

I've had enough of Government Dr Fauci melodrama,

N once this shit is over I'll hopefully be much calmer.

So welcome to another Happy COVID New Year,

I hope U don't all go walking around in fear.

Each mutation seems 2 get weaker n easier 2 clear,

Coz Omicron Colds might end this all n get us a decent beer.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid