Xmas Day

Music wakes me softly,
I rise from darkness to dress.
Champagne and croissants for breakfast,
Now it's time to act impressed.

Pressent wrapping discarded carelessly,
Watching others get gifts they want.
I don't have the money I used to,
And these days I don't get gifts to flaunt.

Alcohol and drugs are my only relief,
A gift I have to give to myself.
Beer is too fizzy I now prefer Whisky,
And I have no time for blasai shows of wealth.

The dinner is the highlight of my day,
Crackers pulled like turkey bones snapped.
I want to stay drinking n eating forever,
I have no time for the TV show crap.

Eastenders drives me crazy,
Why watch misery and death?
I go in the kitchen with Dad n Whisky,
We watch a film n drink without wretch.

Then it's upstairs to bed n a bang,
If I don't wake tomorrow I don't care,
Coz the next month's time is shit,
And I won't have a penny to spare.

@ 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Ho Ho Ho

Ho Ho Ho,

It's Christmas no?

Eat another choclate,

N listen to my flow.

Ho Ho Ho,

Santa's slow,

Drank too much whisky,

Staked his sleigh in snow.

Ho Ho Ho,

I got ice snot cold,

I'd wipe my noggin,

But got no rags 2 blow.

Ho Ho Ho,

The Gov don't know.

Listen to the news,

Seems I got benefit woes.

Ho Ho Ho,

U got any cash 2 borrow?

I'm looking at my balance,

Seeing my overdraft grow.

Ho Ho Ho,

More crap TV shows,

Depressing Eastenders,

Suicide and Murder to go.

Ho Ho Ho,

Pull a cracker Joe.

Unwrap that tat,

It's your best present no?

Ho Ho Ho,

Crossaint honey glow,

Have another mince pie,

Stop your blood flow.

So Ho Ho Ho,

Another years game show,

We all doubled down on debt,

N hoped to win lifes lotto.

© 2023 – Robert Reid All Rights Reserved

Happy New Year Skrew 2022

It's a fucking Ho Ho, 20 22,

N a happy Omicron New Year to U.

I'm sorry 2 say that the news is true,

That the UK Gov is legally spying on U.

I said it many times n years B4,

That we'd all B getting a Social Credit Score.

It's something most people chose 2 ignore,

Now nothings private inside your very own door.

From physical to mental health probs,

To ur ability n right to get decent jobs.

N crimes committed or assumed by plastic Bobs,

To ur lifestyle choices n whether ur lazy slobs.

Yes China's been used as the West's test bed,

And a few million Uyghurs R probably already dead.

Bill Gates quotes about Commies can easily B found n read,

N the Billionaire class got richer whilst we all bled.

Its blatant they used COVID 2 bend us all over,

Now posh suits think they can jus walkover.

It's like a 3 year old Plandemic sick hangover,

And R rights R left rotting like XMAS dinner leftovers.

Now don't go thinking that I'm jus joking, 

Coz I aint been bong smoking or even herb toking.

The Government's plan aint even had any cloaking,

From new laws raining down we'll all B wet soaking.

If you wanna check it out just go read my site,

I got links to Government laws that'll set u right.

Some Spanish Docs think vaccines weren't even made right,

N even BBC admits a third of the jabbed feel pure shite. 

These leaky vaccines r nout but ching for Big Pharma,

Maybe 1 day these companies will get their own Karma.

I've had enough of Government Dr Fauci melodrama,

N once this shit is over I'll hopefully be much calmer.

So welcome to another Happy COVID New Year,

I hope U don't all go walking around in fear.

Each mutation seems 2 get weaker n easier 2 clear,

Coz Omicron Colds might end this all n get us a decent beer.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

XMAS SKЯEW....

SKr3w Screw,

Shiny glitter n glue,

Xmas came 2 soon,

Not nuff time 2 do.

Coz im ill n cold,

Rotten bones 2 old,

Gotta get gifts, I'm told,

B4 they're all sold.

But my wallets so blank,

N gettin txts from my bank,

Im in deep shit, half sank,

N my shopping list is wank.

But its XMAS time,

Plenty of pills n wine,

But got no credit line,

So prezzies ull come frm crime.

I'm spendin whole days in bed,

Shrinks fucked wiv my meds,

N mad shits crawling my head.

But still this iz XMAS time,

I'll b fucked up from 9,

Drink all day til night,

Then watch r family all fight.

My bredrens all here,

Drinking Scotch n Beer,

My sister sits near,

Still not a word in my ear.

Coz she hates my guts,

4 old skool time heart cuts,

Her mates dead bro I knw not,

But an Elephant's memory she got.

But joy, its XMAS time,

Shop mad n get debt 4 time,

Its a messed up gd night,

N yuletide good times.

But this is Santas Skrew,

His wallnuts r cold n blu,

Rudolphs b glowing red soon,

Coz he's stuck in your flue.

So ur presents will b late,

As it's all not always up 2 fate,

Santa's bellys far too great,

N all prezzies, China slave made.

So I'll end this shit Skrew,

Coz I got fuck all else 2 do,

I'd love to Facetalk to a few,

But chose 2 write 2 r crew! 

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid