I wanna

I wanna punch, I wanna hit,

I want to fight n I wanna be bit.

Any takers I'll fight you all,

The leg-shaking vibe is breaking walls.

That club is shit and the bouncers bent,

Steroid freaks that I wanna end.

Broken bottle to the neck,

I don't mind a few glass flecks.

Or a chiv in the gut-deep sliced,

Made from a pen n razor blade ice.

But I'm stuck in this black chair,

Adrenaline rushing life's just unfair.

I wanna go out and kick at my black bag,

But my legs won't let me they just sag.

I wanna hit the fucking wall,

And wanna hit bricks till I ultimately fall.

I wanna hurt, I wanna feel more pain,

But I don't need to slice meat off my leg again.

I wanna someone else to take a shot,

And I wanna let them hit me like a rock.

So do I wanna live or do I wanna die,

Or I do I just wanna make myself cry.

I dunno what I really wanna do,

My mind doesn't even have a clue..

I just wanna make myself feel real,

But I can't even finish this poxy 2 line reel.....

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

The Deepest Scratch

A scratch or two on your back,

You take a few more if you can.

She's an open red raw book,

And we always go it full hand.

Hands on a hotel window dare,

As I stand from her behind.

She likes the night-time stares,

With a constant cold slight remind.

I don't know if I trust her,

Lies and deciet rivers run deep.

I still penetrate on offer,

But paranoid rumors I keep.

Til I catch out a slight lie,

One I can't keep inside.

It hurts like a knife,

A deep cut from the side.

So I act like the Alpha Male,

Blade slipped in my back pocket.

I knock on the flat front door,

Then rampage like a sideways rocket.

There's too much blood on the floor,

And an ex best friend lying in the red.

Suddenly I don't blame him no-more,

She's deliberately set me up in bed.

Those red scratches run deep,

The ones you can never hide.

I look in the 6 by 4 cell mirror,

Still wishing for one more ride.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Black Meat

Cut, cut, cut, cut it all out,

Scalpel is hot n handy so let us cut n don't shout.

Black dead meat it all needs cutting right out,

N I do it myself coz no TVT are ever about.

I cut black flesh in my leg and it doesn't even hurt,

Black dead meat from the lymphedema is slimy black dirt.

Cutting away at my own body it really is absurd,

But I really love cutting myself does that make me a burk?

So I cut with care and don't even bleed anywhere,

Coz if I cut too deep I will hit a live nerve n curse n swear.

A little off the top is what John told me in hospital care,

And it's not like I can go in for it so I cut in despair.

Am I fucked up for cutting myself, am I doing self-harm?

Or am I saving taxpayers money by using my own arms?

The NHS is broken and no one will come to me calm,

So I cut n cut n cut n til the black is gone, n I feel no alarm.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid