SKЯ3W 2

SKЯ3W Epstein, n screw the news,

Vampire Satanic shiz, giving me the blues. 

Skr3w the elite, n Skrew the u know who's,

This GoySlops makes us not know what to do.

Right this is a Skrewball all bout SkЯ3win, 

It's flesh rot bog clot, hot pot stewin. 

I don't care what u might now be doin,

It's time 2 get rap tight, wrong write, SЯ3wball Skrewing.  

So the main man ain't 2 happy,

Got a goggled eyed baby, whose turned too dappy.

His wife's asked him 2 change his nippers nappy,

Coz his baby's assholes, gone all crappy. 

Sloppy gloopy sunny side ups,

His misses needs a proper measuring cup. 

She can't cook eggs so wats da fux up, 

Man needs a woman, 2 clean up his muck up. 

 So fuck this, he's off for a drive,.

But got blue lights flashin, right behind,

TBH he don't really mind,

He shudn't B driving, wen he's legally blind.

So he gets pulled over by the dibble,

There mouths R frothing wiv spit n dribble.

He's getting nicked by PC Wibble,

So cold out here, he's got beach bra nipple.

Man is 1 that don't take shit, from might right bissies,

So gets right fightin tight n silly. 

Then some cock cop, whacks him in the willy. 

N now gettin clobbered by their extended Billy's. 

 

So now he's in a wagon with a piss head,

Blood splattered alchie, drunk ol dick head.

Get 2 the station 2 get his rights read,

Put in a box 4 a night's free blue bed. 

 But at midnight he gets a real cop treat, 

3 blue come in n he g3ts a mattress beat.

One cop gives him a feather tickle on his feet, 

N another 1 gives his balls a mighty ol tweak. 

Black blue bubbling cop rot shop,

Escaped from jail, nearly got shot. 

Black eye, red eye, nose n snot, 

Base balled legs n bloods runnin hot. 

But that's the fun of the cops, 

Get 6 o'clock knocks on his battered door box. 

Rushes to hide all his stolen sox, 

N hides his stash like a sly ol fox. 

Now got s chicken soup, hot rash, nut sack, 

Seems 2 hv got cock rot, from lovin his slag, 

But she's in a hump coz she's on the rag, 

So off 2 da clinic, 4 a spatula down his crack. 

Smallpox, chicken pox, hd em all, small pup, 

Bone rot, head blok, now got a sore Cock, 

Balls hot, pants dropped, dox got a real shock, 

Now it's pecker slot, red hot as in goes da spatula pop.

So this is a bubbled up, fucked up, mental Skrew,

Wat it means I ain't got a fxxking clue. 

But I'm jus Skrewballing, all Of u,

N that's my homework for u writing crew,

 

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

 

The Deepest Scratch

A scratch or two on your back,

You take a few more if you can.

She's an open red raw book,

And we always go it full hand.

Hands on a hotel window dare,

As I stand from her behind.

She likes the night-time stares,

With a constant cold slight remind.

I don't know if I trust her,

Lies and deciet rivers run deep.

I still penetrate on offer,

But paranoid rumors I keep.

Til I catch out a slight lie,

One I can't keep inside.

It hurts like a knife,

A deep cut from the side.

So I act like the Alpha Male,

Blade slipped in my back pocket.

I knock on the flat front door,

Then rampage like a sideways rocket.

There's too much blood on the floor,

And an ex best friend lying in the red.

Suddenly I don't blame him no-more,

She's deliberately set me up in bed.

Those red scratches run deep,

The ones you can never hide.

I look in the 6 by 4 cell mirror,

Still wishing for one more ride.

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Prince Philip Is Dead

Oh dear the Duke of Edinburgh is dead,

So all go off, lower your flag, and bow your head.

Coz now all the radio stations n TV channels are dead,

But no1 talks Royal crime, n so many virgins force wed.

If you want, you can let yourself be a Royal subject,

But fuck that, I am a citizen, I am not anyone's subject.

The Royals are all above the laws they disrespect,

You'll never see Crown vs Crown, their crimes are unchecked.

If the Royals gave a shit, about any of their subjects,

They'd use their massive wealth and land, to lessen neglect.

Billions stashed in overseas banks, everyone would bet,

They could end world hunger, in a day, without a sweat.

Common law trials, have judged and convicted,

But Royals don't pay for crimes, they've certainly inflicted.

Missing kids in Canada, witnesses have depicted,

Kissing royal feet before disappearing, their crimes a sickness.

N the worse of all, is that I saw today at Aintree,

That tomorrow all of us fans, would be so lucky.

The Grand National will still go ahead, presenters so happy,

But fuck the royals, why do ppl worship them so badly.

They see themselves above all us serfs,

We pay taxes to them so they can travel the earth.

And never forget the Duke of E, was head of the WWF,

If reincarnated he would be a virus, n kill us all, end child birth.

So sorry Royal fans, go wash your Royal mugs n plates,

They've done nothing to ease our locked up pain, or help alleviate.

Maybe tourist traps, foreign fans always stand at Buck gates,

But go n watch that video of the naked man, jump out of a window to escape.

We don't know what goes on, in half their inbred heads,

N which Royal Charlie, used to take his butler to bed.

We do know that they r protecting Prince Andrew, from crimes ahead,

And we know they really believe, their royal lineage, comes from a real Godhead.

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Smell...

This Skr3w is new, and I dunno wat 2 do,

Bashed ten blues, but my minds still on u.

Tried 2 get up but my duvets stuck like glue,

Lying here cashless thinking who to sue.

Ur just a lovely brunette and I want 2 smell ur hair,

Give me 5 mins, I don't give a toss wat u wear.

Don't wanna get close, n I'm always aware,

That peeps think a bloke like me, cud never ever care.

I don't hav the words to spit to u online,

N u'd prob be miffed if u ever heard this rhyme.

Can't write love songs, they wudn't hv that chime,

And I run 2 much to even have the time.

I jus like that smile when u don't even know,

Flick of that brown, putting on a show.

Your the sort of girl that I'd really like to know,

But the chance of the bet is I'd prob let it blow.

So I sit here alone n just twiddle wiv my phone,

Hoping every min that u'd catch the dog n bone.

Coz the truth of the matter is I'll prob end up alone,

N that Facefuck profile I stare at, is prob just a clone.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid