SKЯ3W

Skr3w, screw, barney McSkrew,

Screw them all and screw u too,

Been in a screw job n not 2 few,

Diablo witch screwed r whole crew.

Coz a screws a joe pullin u out of bed,

Stand by the wall put ur hands on ur head,

Open ur pockets and spins out ur bed,

A tru screw never 4gets a word uve said.

Coz a screw in the jaws pain u can't ignore,

Dental abcess my raw jaw is sore,

Too many meds n the floor is my whore,

N I can't even KO headbutting the door.

Coz a screw under my tyre is nothing new,

A skank neighbours plan n I've had a few,

Stuck roadside wiv nothing to do,

Ur wallets blank n ur mates r too.

Coz a screw on a driver is a tool jus right,

Always beware of that tool in a fight,

Plunge that shank n rotate it tight,

Bein pulled close as ur pupils unlight.

Coz a screw with a bird cud be overdue,

It could be the best screw u never knew,

Unthread ur stress the best u can do,

Unpop ur cork as ur nads turn blue.

Coz a screw aint a nail still I nailed it gd,

If u had to Google then u misunderstood,

That the thread of this Scr3w was meant 2 b good,

It only rhymes becoz I Skrewed it good.

© 2020 Rob Reid in pain after the dentist put a filling on top of an abscess!

I Caught A Rat

Ratatat tat,

I caught a ginger rat,

Been hanging with the feds,

Never thought u of like that.

The death of my mate,

Was a true grisly fate.

On my b day no less,

He walked through the pearly gates. 

But the death of my friend,

U can't deny or pretend.

That u played more than a hand,

N u weren't there at the end.

I'll def pin that crime on u,

And give u another clue.

Long holiday to Spain,

Packed more than my shoes.

I treated u like my fam,

Stopped u from being a bullied man.

U were just a carry home key boy,

Til I got em 2 stop laying hands.

Ur eyesight's short, u cudn't see,

A net freak HOE, kids 1 2 probably 3.

Shagged, lied, pulled ur brain around,

But U finally chose her over me.

Your best mate, your best man, 

U set light 2 the friendship can.

All for an online married chick,

UR desperate, I'm twice the man. 

Got no balls, u sent an email, 

As I clucked 4 u in a Baytree cell. 

Her bullshit lies u believed her well, 

But ur shit stunk so it was farewell.

U didn't apologise or even try, 

Don't realise the tears I cried. 

All them years we were best buds, 

Lies over mates, so we died. 

Maybe u felt some guilt, 

On our friendship that we built. 

But u threw it all away, 

True beauty that can't be rebuilt. 

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid