Goodbye Dad

This goodbye poems to my Dad,

It's the hardest poem pen 2 pad,

N makes me so, so, sad, 

I'm so, so, sorry I made u crazy mad. 

Sorry for the short candle wick, 

I know I was a proper dick. 

Fucking about, getting nicked, 

Fighting police n acting a prick. 

Sometimes I thought we'd actually fight,

Drunken rows n throwing r might. 

It didn't matter who was right.

I'd B upstairs angry 4 the night. 

Argued over the kitchen table,

About war, politics, n news fables. 

I was painted with a black label, 

We'd make Mum cry, N go unstable.

I was ignored from around 14,

True, I was prob an awful teen. 

But Lorna seemed 2 get all the glean, 

Though she seemed just as mean. 

I know I was on drugs very young,

Toking dubs, banging, acting dumb. 

Still u always held ur tongue.

Even tho I was a black sheep son. 

All those police 6 clock knocks, 

I used to wake at 6 on the dot. 

Pigs searching thru my pants n socks,

Me standing in 2 many court docks. 

Sorry Dad for all the knocks on ur door, 

Cops raiding ur home, crimes 2 the core. 

All my clothes thrown on the floor, 

I couldn't hv got arrested any more. 

It was only later on we got on,

After I left home n got on my own. 

U seemed to treat me like a son, 

On Thursdays, we even had some fun. 

We used to hav joy down the lake,

Walking in the woods a Sunday take.

Chewing the chud for no good sake, 

N fishing with our hands ffs! 

U always helped me out, wen I was stuck,

Didn't matter the price in bucks. 

Car crashes, n cash wen I clucked, 

Any help I needed, I was in luck.

U became more of a mate than a Dad,

N this is what screws me bad. 

Wish I made most of the time we had.

And it cuts me deep 2 not B ur lad.

I'll be going away soon for good,

Nothing can stop it I wish I cud.

I did something bad, I knew I wud, 

So I hope we both understood.

That I love u Dad whatever I did,

Pissed disputes, cop raids n shit.

Police can do one, I'm still ur kid.

I wish my life was different, every bit. 

I was going to be there at ur end,

But shits happened I can't pretend.

Not 2 B with u drives me round the bend. 

I leave u with sadness hope u ken?

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Goodbye Mum

Goodbye, goodbye,

Goodbye Mum.

I'm so sorry, sorry for,

Being your son.

Your roast dinners,

Were something to boast.

But I'm sad u never got to live,

Ur days out by the coast.

I know u probably stayed,

To look out over me.

N I'm so sorry for them cops,

Breaking in urs with no key.

I know I was no good, 

At following your rules.

N I shouldn't hv been misled, 

By so many idiots n fools. 

You taught me so well, 

Probably better than school. 

But life is a bitch,

N I just acted the fool. 

The life that I wanted, 

Just wasn't in store.

N the life that I lived,

I just couldn't handle no more.

But I love u so Mum, 

Just pls know that it's true.

N all u did for me, 

Was more than u knew. 

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

I'm Sorry Sis

I'm sorry sis, 

I'm sorry sis, 

I wish I knew. 

But to be honest, 

I ain't got a clue. 

I'm sorry sis, 

What did I do to u? 

I was your brother, 

But then we broke in 2.

I'm sorry sis, 

But I protected u. 

When we moved here, 

I took the bullying from u.

I'm sorry sis, 

If I became that kid,

Became ur bully, 

To stop other kids rip.  

I'm sorry sis,

If I was a twat at school.

But if I had to look,

There was just us two. 

I'm sorry sis, 

We couldn't make up.

I know I hung with bad,

Played in no super cup.

Im sorry sis, 

But u don't understand.

The life I had, 

Sure wasn't planned.

Im sorry sis,

I didn't kill ur friends bro.

What ur mad about,

I sure dont know.

I'm sorry sis,

If life at home was shit,

But to be fair,

U done ur fair bit.

I'm sorry sis,

But u got all the love.

N there I was,

A boxed off bruv.

I'm sorry sis,

That its now too late.

You'll get my share,

As I accept my fate.

I still love u sis,

Despite all I've done.

I can't say it to ur face,

But what's done is done. 

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Addict...

Hello I'm Rob, and I'm an addict,

To be honest my addiction, is my habit.

Please close this page, if you ever liked me,

I don't want more ex friends, to think I'm mad as can be.

The truth is, I'm addicted to self abusing,

The truth is, I'm addicted to self amusing.

The truth is, I'm addicted to unhealthy and sickening care,

You can easily see the scars, on my limbs though my hair.

I'm addicted to being, sad and alone,

And I don't have the balls, to ever pick up a phone.

I'm addicted to major, self harm and abuse,

My life is a long road to hell, that was illegally introduced.

So basically I'm addicted, to not giving a fuck,

And I enjoy getting hit hard, when I'm having a ruck.

I like digging holes, deep in my own skin,

And I like cutting people up, like a can tin.

I'm addicted to always seeing the worst,

Coz the worst of the worst, is my own worse curse.

I can't help the flow, of my thin watery blood,

As the rain washes my body, lying unconscious in mud.

I'm addicted to nasty police, harassment and tugs,

They always ask if I'll hit them, when taking off cuffs.

I've had bare police cold, in my own hands,

The hands of a man, who didn't know the length of his own plans.

I'm addicted to not caring, about holes and cuts,

I'll end up alone, life’s clock ticked all out of all luck.

It's a shame there's no detox, that could ever fix me,

Take the drugs and meds away, and then you'll see.

That all my self harm, has probably been,

A way of keeping my family and friends, safe n clean.

Coz unfortunately the life I wanted, was not in store,

And I've walked dark roads, that nobody saw.

God just decided to deal me an early duff hand,

The sort in poker that only blags, bluffs n lies withstand.

I've tried, but there is no 12 step program for me,

And my only chip, has the Grim Reaper stamped for everyone to see.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

XMAS SKЯEW....

SKr3w Screw,

Shiny glitter n glue,

Xmas came 2 soon,

Not nuff time 2 do.

Coz im ill n cold,

Rotten bones 2 old,

Gotta get gifts, I'm told,

B4 they're all sold.

But my wallets so blank,

N gettin txts from my bank,

Im in deep shit, half sank,

N my shopping list is wank.

But its XMAS time,

Plenty of pills n wine,

But got no credit line,

So prezzies ull come frm crime.

I'm spendin whole days in bed,

Shrinks fucked wiv my meds,

N mad shits crawling my head.

But still this iz XMAS time,

I'll b fucked up from 9,

Drink all day til night,

Then watch r family all fight.

My bredrens all here,

Drinking Scotch n Beer,

My sister sits near,

Still not a word in my ear.

Coz she hates my guts,

4 old skool time heart cuts,

Her mates dead bro I knw not,

But an Elephant's memory she got.

But joy, its XMAS time,

Shop mad n get debt 4 time,

Its a messed up gd night,

N yuletide good times.

But this is Santas Skrew,

His wallnuts r cold n blu,

Rudolphs b glowing red soon,

Coz he's stuck in your flue.

So ur presents will b late,

As it's all not always up 2 fate,

Santa's bellys far too great,

N all prezzies, China slave made.

So I'll end this shit Skrew,

Coz I got fuck all else 2 do,

I'd love to Facetalk to a few,

But chose 2 write 2 r crew! 

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid