Goodbye Dad

This goodbye poems to my Dad,

It's the hardest poem pen 2 pad,

N makes me so, so, sad, 

I'm so, so, sorry I made u crazy mad. 

Sorry for the short candle wick, 

I know I was a proper dick. 

Fucking about, getting nicked, 

Fighting police n acting a prick. 

Sometimes I thought we'd actually fight,

Drunken rows n throwing r might. 

It didn't matter who was right.

I'd B upstairs angry 4 the night. 

Argued over the kitchen table,

About war, politics, n news fables. 

I was painted with a black label, 

We'd make Mum cry, N go unstable.

I was ignored from around 14,

True, I was prob an awful teen. 

But Lorna seemed 2 get all the glean, 

Though she seemed just as mean. 

I know I was on drugs very young,

Toking dubs, banging, acting dumb. 

Still u always held ur tongue.

Even tho I was a black sheep son. 

All those police 6 clock knocks, 

I used to wake at 6 on the dot. 

Pigs searching thru my pants n socks,

Me standing in 2 many court docks. 

Sorry Dad for all the knocks on ur door, 

Cops raiding ur home, crimes 2 the core. 

All my clothes thrown on the floor, 

I couldn't hv got arrested any more. 

It was only later on we got on,

After I left home n got on my own. 

U seemed to treat me like a son, 

On Thursdays, we even had some fun. 

We used to hav joy down the lake,

Walking in the woods a Sunday take.

Chewing the chud for no good sake, 

N fishing with our hands ffs! 

U always helped me out, wen I was stuck,

Didn't matter the price in bucks. 

Car crashes, n cash wen I clucked, 

Any help I needed, I was in luck.

U became more of a mate than a Dad,

N this is what screws me bad. 

Wish I made most of the time we had.

And it cuts me deep 2 not B ur lad.

I'll be going away soon for good,

Nothing can stop it I wish I cud.

I did something bad, I knew I wud, 

So I hope we both understood.

That I love u Dad whatever I did,

Pissed disputes, cop raids n shit.

Police can do one, I'm still ur kid.

I wish my life was different, every bit. 

I was going to be there at ur end,

But shits happened I can't pretend.

Not 2 B with u drives me round the bend. 

I leave u with sadness hope u ken?

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Messing

Note: Its meant to be read fast a bit like a song, each stanza quickly in one go. A bit like a Kasabian song.

1, I'm messing with the enemy,

Don't need 2 sell my soul 4 free,

He's already inside of me,

Watching from a gallery.

2, he's just another trick,

Playing the devil jus 4 kicks, 

He's making my brain proper sick,

Seems I'm on another trip.

3, he's running my body ill,

So I'm crushing up another pill,

As I watch, my very own blood spill,

He's got me under an evil spell.

4, my mind cant ignore,

The pain inside my inner core,

He's got me rolling on the floor,

Please, find me an entrance door. 

5, he's coming 4 me, I got the fear, 

Handing me, another beer,

All 2 keep my mind unclear,

Messing with my mind, pls help me dear!

6, he's destroyed my mental health, 

I think i need some proper help, 

But no1 seems 2 want 2 help, 

So I'm stuck on this running belt. 

7, it's coming towards the end, 

I can't see, around the bend, 

So can u find an angel 2 send, 

Or I'll be in another Sim again. 

Damn!

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid