Goodbye Dad

This goodbye poems to my Dad,

It's the hardest poem pen 2 pad,

N makes me so, so, sad, 

I'm so, so, sorry I made u crazy mad. 

Sorry for the short candle wick, 

I know I was a proper dick. 

Fucking about, getting nicked, 

Fighting police n acting a prick. 

Sometimes I thought we'd actually fight,

Drunken rows n throwing r might. 

It didn't matter who was right.

I'd B upstairs angry 4 the night. 

Argued over the kitchen table,

About war, politics, n news fables. 

I was painted with a black label, 

We'd make Mum cry, N go unstable.

I was ignored from around 14,

True, I was prob an awful teen. 

But Lorna seemed 2 get all the glean, 

Though she seemed just as mean. 

I know I was on drugs very young,

Toking dubs, banging, acting dumb. 

Still u always held ur tongue.

Even tho I was a black sheep son. 

All those police 6 clock knocks, 

I used to wake at 6 on the dot. 

Pigs searching thru my pants n socks,

Me standing in 2 many court docks. 

Sorry Dad for all the knocks on ur door, 

Cops raiding ur home, crimes 2 the core. 

All my clothes thrown on the floor, 

I couldn't hv got arrested any more. 

It was only later on we got on,

After I left home n got on my own. 

U seemed to treat me like a son, 

On Thursdays, we even had some fun. 

We used to hav joy down the lake,

Walking in the woods a Sunday take.

Chewing the chud for no good sake, 

N fishing with our hands ffs! 

U always helped me out, wen I was stuck,

Didn't matter the price in bucks. 

Car crashes, n cash wen I clucked, 

Any help I needed, I was in luck.

U became more of a mate than a Dad,

N this is what screws me bad. 

Wish I made most of the time we had.

And it cuts me deep 2 not B ur lad.

I'll be going away soon for good,

Nothing can stop it I wish I cud.

I did something bad, I knew I wud, 

So I hope we both understood.

That I love u Dad whatever I did,

Pissed disputes, cop raids n shit.

Police can do one, I'm still ur kid.

I wish my life was different, every bit. 

I was going to be there at ur end,

But shits happened I can't pretend.

Not 2 B with u drives me round the bend. 

I leave u with sadness hope u ken?

© 2024 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid