Prickles

I am awake but now I'm sad,

For coming out of the vivid dream I had.

For now this time is really real,

And no one can imagine the pain I feel.

I have nothing to really live now for, 

And my past is a closed dusty history door.

Time has flown past way too fast,

And the status quo will never last.

I know that I am going to die alone, 

N when I feel down I have no one to phone.

I only want to stay asleep in my bed,

Just have sweet opiate dreams til I'm dead.

Coz conscious me is having no fun,

Nobody has a clue about the mental pain I've done.

It seems this life has no place for me,

It seems I'm just a thorn on a prickly tree.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

A Pointless Task

I put those leads to my nips from the battery in the car,

Hoped for the best but just ended up looking at stars.

So I drank 250ml of that lovely oral morph,

Did squat all so I wanna be squashed down to a dwarf.

A jump from Ben Nevis 2 the floor but it’s up Scotland,

N I can’t afford the petrol for my body to land.

Once I tried a blade just to try on my wrist,

But I got no blood inside me so it was a worthless risk.

I took a box of blues and then a bottle of zans,

Woke in an airbag halfway through a wall in a stolen van.

I’m running of ideas to try and top myself,

My body just doesn’t wanna seem to kill itself.

So I’m depressed n mad n sad n can hardly move,

But my bodies got something in it that won’t let me lose.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Vac Pump

Vac Pump

Bish bash bosh,

Had another cosh,

Woke up in the morning,

Now I need a blood soaked wash.

My vac pump is annoying,

I find it soul destroying,

Got man bag n tube on the shoulder,

But life I aint enjoying.

It's another lock down for me,

Stuck on bed watching TV,

Only peeps I speak 2 r few nurses,

But get tangled up when I wanna pee.

This damn things always beeping,

With wound sometimes severe leaking,

But I get bored jus lying on the bed,

But move anywhere n leg cud start seeping.

Its doing my nut nut right in,

Getting tangled tubes round a nearby bin,

I wanna scratch this deep hole right out,

But to the nurses it be a mortal sin.

So I'm either stuck here on the bed,

Or wake up after hacking, resting laptop on my head,

My time scales r way way upside down inside out,

Like someone's turned over my timer like an egg.

All I wanna do is go out n hav a walk,

Maybe meet some peeps n hav a talk.

But this canister full of leg soaked blood n shit,

Will only make ppl stare n gawk.

So I stay stuck like a COVID brick,

My self isolation is no self owned trick.

Sometimes wish I was back in Frimley Park HMP,

Sweet nurses beep beep call, n morphine lollies 2 lick.

So life right now aint nearly so so great,

But got to thank someone unknown for my fate,

And the scar etched in 2 my forehead,

Stands L for Lucky for stopping a yucky mucky deadly date.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid