Cap Crap

Dressed smart, clean shave, n sat back, 

But 2 the shrink I was a scruff in a cap,

I've never worn one, everyone knows that, 

But didn't stop his report, full of crap. 

Bur I'm always running late for appointment,

A societal n parental disappointment. 

On the search for magic ointment,

To stop the pain in my knee joint. 

Got rotting bones from inside,

And from the agony theres no hide.

Couldn't top myself when I tried,

N doubt anyone cared if I died.

So I'm stuck on this roundabout,

With no one there to help me out.

I get in trouble without a doubt,

So carry my briefs digits all about.

Coz this shits gonna come 2 an end,

Its twisted me round every tight bend.

Got no final address 2 send,

The last letter to write at the end.

So shake the bell on that tree,

Coz one day you'll stop seeing me.

It will happen quite suddenly,

Just be prepared for my tradgedy.

@2026 All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Sitting Around

I'm just sitting around,

Pounding the ground.

Got too many fears,

To go walking in town.

Social workers ring,

Sayin I need help to think.

But got briefs and lawyers,

And trouble with shrinks.

No one wants to fix my arm,

Guess they think it's self harm.

But no one tried the obvious,

Now I'm left to rot in the farm.

We're all stuck in a human zoo,

Thinking we control what we do.

But we're in a 3D video game,

Zombified robots with no clue.

So I'm sitting around, 

Just pounding my ground. 

I'm just slipping away,

Into a dream, with no sound.

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Court Appearance

I’m back in court,

Back in the dock,

Waiting to receive,

My short sharp shock.

My mates in the gallery,

I give them a wink,

I play with my cuffs,

Close my eyes and think.

Why am I here?,

Why did I come?

Why didn’t I skip bail?

Go on the run?

I had no choice,

That’s fucking why,

Its like that old saying,

You don’t choose when to die.

Fuck the system!

Fuck the police!

Who gives a toss,

About a breach of the peace.

The GBH,

I can maybe understand,

Using the full force,

The law of the land.

But swearing at a pig,

Who gives a shit,

I sure don’t feel sorry,

For that copper I hit.

Attempted theft,

Well I did my best,

They caught me with some,

But I got away with the rest.

Stashed it up good,

Along with my drugs,

Never realised,

They had my house bugged.

At six o’clock AM,

They break down my door,

Drag me out of bed,

Cuff me up on the floor.

I struggle of course,

As much as I could,

But the pigs had me proper,

They beat me up good.

Banged up in a cell,

All day and all night,

Clucking my tits off,

With no end in sight.

They offered me money,

To grass on my mates,

But snitches are bad,

All informers I hate.

No comment interview,

Was the way to go,

I might get off,

You never know.

So they kept me locked up,

Until today,

Led me to court,

So what shall I say?

Shall I plead guilty,

Or go for innocence,

I might get off lightly,

For a first offence.

But it’s not you see,

My record is long,

I’m a very naughty boy,

Don’t know right from wrong.

I need a good spanking,

It might put me right,

But they’re sure to send me down,

Keep me well out of sight.

My brief does the blag,

But it isn’t enough,

I can sense in the air,

That I’m basically stuffed.

My lawyer argues hard,

Even makes me sound good,

But I can tell that the judge,

Thinks I’m a boy from the hood.

A danger to society,

He preaches from the bench,

The prosecutor smirks,

The ugly old wench.

They all want my blood,

I can tell by their stares,

I wouldn’t be surprised,

If I was sent to the chair.

So the sentence is read out,

I step back in shock,

The Group 4 guards,

Take me down from the dock.

5 years I’ve got,

Guilty I’m found,

Banged to rights,

I’m going down.

The gallery boo,

My Mum shakes her head,

I don’t think I’ll survive,

I’m better off dead.

I’m led away,

Down into the cells,

This is just the beginning,

Of my personal hell.

So the moral of the story,

Well it is of a sort,

Do whatever you want,

Just don’t get caught.

© 2002 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Another old poem I found from my 2002 website. It seems I was going to court a lot at that time from the contents!

Chuffed At Court

I went to court today,

I was taken by surprise,

The judge was smoking a spliff,

I couldn't believe my eyes!

He gave my brief a blowback,

They started talking shit.

The witness was on acid,

And freaking on a bad trip.

The prosecution asked,

Is this some kind of joke?

If it is then fuck you all,

As he got out his stash of coke.

The usher got excited,

and fell upon his back.

Lying there with a 2 ml works,

In his arm, having a hit of smack.

I asked about my punishment,

The judge couldn't give a damn.

He said "Go spend your money wisely boy",

And buy yourself a gram.

© 2002 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

An old poem I had totally forgot about from an old website I used to have with poems from people in Prison that used to send them out to me to publish along with my own work. Was a total surprise to find this stash of old writing!