SKЯ3W

Skr3w, screw, barney McSkrew,

Screw them all and screw u too,

Been in a screw job n not 2 few,

Diablo witch screwed r whole crew.

Coz a screws a joe pullin u out of bed,

Stand by the wall put ur hands on ur head,

Open ur pockets and spins out ur bed,

A tru screw never 4gets a word uve said.

Coz a screw in the jaws pain u can't ignore,

Dental abcess my raw jaw is sore,

Too many meds n the floor is my whore,

N I can't even KO headbutting the door.

Coz a screw under my tyre is nothing new,

A skank neighbours plan n I've had a few,

Stuck roadside wiv nothing to do,

Ur wallets blank n ur mates r too.

Coz a screw on a driver is a tool jus right,

Always beware of that tool in a fight,

Plunge that shank n rotate it tight,

Bein pulled close as ur pupils unlight.

Coz a screw with a bird cud be overdue,

It could be the best screw u never knew,

Unthread ur stress the best u can do,

Unpop ur cork as ur nads turn blue.

Coz a screw aint a nail still I nailed it gd,

If u had to Google then u misunderstood,

That the thread of this Scr3w was meant 2 b good,

It only rhymes becoz I Skrewed it good.

© 2020 Rob Reid in pain after the dentist put a filling on top of an abscess!

Ice Cream

All I want is an ice cream,

White choc to supplement sunbeams.

Maybe a double caramel Magnum,

Might stop me sucking a chocolate handgun.

Get me a sticky orange flavoured Solero,

Licking the juice as I ride life's hectic rodeo.

Might get a multi pack double toffee meal,

Stopping me thinking bout heavens plea deal. 

Or get me a multi pack of 3 cornettos,

Lickin away lifes drama n sorrows.

Or try a new pink champagne lemonade, 

Savour the sweet cherry ice as pain fades.

Lets make my own bag of frozen iced popsicle, 

As I write my latest dissident article. 

But I've got no money for an ice cream,

So my brains kept in this crazy heat daydream. 

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Wildness

Once I heard the wildness outside,

I felt a thunder storm in my mind.

Wild beasts seem to have calmer times,

I'd spent a lifetime, listing all my crimes.

Once I heard the wildness outside,

All I wanted, was run and hide.

Wandering foxes, shine in head beams at night,

As wheely bins are torn on sight.

Once I heard the wildness outside,

I felt a lightning strike, deep inside.

Little frogs crawling out of fright,

Hop to bushes, as feet walk pass by.

Once I heard the wildness outside,

It made me feel warm, tucked up tight.

But sparrows nesting in loft, summertime,

Feel like axes, pecking at my mind.

Once I heard the wildness outside,

It made me wonder, what is life?

For all this nature, and all is bright,

My own future wildness, is cast aside.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Queen

Brooding mare, striking hair, 

Rebellious our Queen, Boadicea,

Red, white and blue,

She was the English overseer.

Her chariot storms the troops, 

Romans shaken with fear,

Arrows fly like sparrows, 

Axe weilded against spear. 

Her hair browny, red and firey, 

Ends plated with blood flares, 

She storms the Latin invaders,

Striking Romes soldiers with dare.

Battling for her home and people, 

Against the Roman legions, 

Smash, blood, and crackle,

She leads the British region. 

Faces painted with blue paint, 

Rolling bales of tar aflame, 

Soldiers run and dive for cover, 

"Holy Zeus", Centurions exclaim. 

Romans sent by Emperor Hadrian, 

Lost became the fate of the 9th legion. 

Due to our killer Queen Boadicea, 

The Romans were eventually beaten. 

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

(This won the Facebook Group competition May 2025)

Ghost Parties

I'm constantly partying with Ghosts,

My dead friends being the hosts.

We rave to House in my dreams,

Lots of sweets n unlimited means.

Cream cakes, booze n smack,

Pregabs, ice cream, an ickle of crack.

Chilling, watching comedy n chat,

Making designs for all r new tats.

We gouch out, giggle n laugh,

Telling old stories of R mad past.

But my lost friends are all in ma head,

I only get to party with the dead.

N at the end I tell em I'll phone.

Then I wake up n realise I'm all alone.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Head Shrink

Do you internally think?

Thinking you need a head shrink?

Twenty one eyed wobbly blinks,

Coz a voice in ur heads linked.

I'm schizo, rizo, paranoid dizo,

Anxious, rancorous, mentally smart tho.

Twitchy itchy, living in a kill zone,

Always searching, looking 4 my birth clone.

Has ur brain gone wonky?

Working like a 3 legged donkey?

Planning to throw a ghost party?

Led astray by your monkey?

Coz depression is a constant mission,

Brain atoms split like nuclear fission.

Bed sweats from constant pillow kissin,

Want 2 take a dive n go forever missing.

Got bed rot, n old blood clots,

Never gonna be back at top spot.

Get arrested 4 a hot shot,

N nicked 4 murder by dumb cops.

So go and get ur meds filled,

I'm over scripted like a cow field.

My chemist always has the good pills.

But nothing takes away my brain ails.

Maybe ma heads always gonna be fucked,

Internal plumbing needs a plunge suck.

But what can I do about this head fuck?

Maybe I've just run out of luck?

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

Back Again

Trolleys rolling,

Kettles boiling,

Phone scrolling,

Nurses scolding.

Head pains,

Blood stains,

Muddled brains,

PAL complaints.

A Bell rings,

A Bet wins,

A needle stings,

No phone rings.

Hot showers,

Doctor power,

Visiting hours,

R lonley hours.

Here once more,

F6 upper floor,

Locked med drawer,

My bodies poor.

Never ends,

Mind bends,

Thoughts 2 pen,

I'm back again.

© 2025 - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved