Beeps, Blood N Noise

Off go the beeps red lights flashing,

Steve's had a stroke, a real head bashing.

Been waiting time 4 help, but no1 came rushing,

Meds come 2 late n it's a real pad zapping!

John's mad in the corner n says "shit" every other word,

Babbles nonsense so loud, he really is rather absurd.

Tried to have a convo but every word is slurred,

N never ever gets out of bed, not even to have a turd.

Coz it's just constant beeps, blood n noise,

The nurses don't seem able to understand, R ways 2 have some joy.

But we still handle it all on F8 with skill n poise,

Coz in F8 we're all properly screwed up mental boys!

It's all yabber about Black Panther, Racing n Baby Mugabe,

As we try to josh with the nurses, even the harpies.

Getting lied to blatantly, even right to our faces,

As we all try 2 plot r bets for the Epsom Derby.

Yet we still all love the nurse's skirts nice n tight,

But been reduced on my meds, so I don't feel quite right.

Tried to have a word, but got told 2 shut my pie,

Adrenaline is rushing 2 much so all I wanna do is fight.

Coz it's all just constant beeps blood and crazy noise,

We try to josh with the nurses who all think we're weirdo cowboys,

But we all handle it on F8 with banter we all enjoy,

Coz the lads on this bay are top crazy wind-up toys. 

The "Fella" next 2 me is an 80yr old man in a 5 year olds body,

Seen more than enuff 2 know the staff treats him shoddy.

He's had a 3 month stretch in Frimley HMP already,

Now he's paranoid 2 fuck due 2 his black-skinned body.

Ian lies opposite 2 me N is treated like a king,

He flipped right out, n can't remember a thing,

I made him a mint with free tips on my firsts nights in,

But he's 2 tight to sort us out, a small thank u ting.

Coz it's all just constant beeps blood n crazy noise,

The nurses just can't seem to deal with our manic drugged out joy.

But we still handle it well on F8 with sly n cunning poise,

Coz we r all just the same, proper wind-up boys.

I had a little psychotic break in the bog getting nice n clean,

Nurse saw my diagnosis "Mad as Fuck" n thought it was obscene.

Someone went too far n called the Security team,

So I offered them all out n now I'm cuffed to this bed beam.

I can't really help it that I have a mental prob,

I just don't like taking meds that just don't do the job.

I'd rather be a surgeon cutting my own body up,

But that's why my parents n docs think I'm a mental nob!

Coz it's just constant beeps blood n obscene rants n noise,

The nurses just can't be happy n let us have R joy.

But we all handle it as much as any man can on bay F8 with jokes n noise,

Coz every bed in the bay is filled with messed up Skew up boys.

 

© 2022 Rob Reid - Hospital Collection 2