Beeps, Blood N Noise

Off go the beeps red lights flashing,

Steve's had a stroke, a real head bashing.

Been waiting time 4 help, but no1 came rushing,

Meds come 2 late n it's a real pad zapping!

John's mad in the corner n says "shit" every other word,

Babbles nonsense so loud, he really is rather absurd.

Tried to have a convo but every word is slurred,

N never ever gets out of bed, not even to have a turd.

Coz it's just constant beeps, blood n noise,

The nurses don't seem able to understand, R ways 2 have some joy.

But we still handle it all on F8 with skill n poise,

Coz in F8 we're all properly screwed up mental boys!

It's all yabber about Black Panther, Racing n Baby Mugabe,

As we try to josh with the nurses, even the harpies.

Getting lied to blatantly, even right to our faces,

As we all try 2 plot r bets for the Epsom Derby.

Yet we still all love the nurse's skirts nice n tight,

But been reduced on my meds, so I don't feel quite right.

Tried to have a word, but got told 2 shut my pie,

Adrenaline is rushing 2 much so all I wanna do is fight.

Coz it's all just constant beeps blood and crazy noise,

We try to josh with the nurses who all think we're weirdo cowboys,

But we all handle it on F8 with banter we all enjoy,

Coz the lads on this bay are top crazy wind-up toys. 

The "Fella" next 2 me is an 80yr old man in a 5 year olds body,

Seen more than enuff 2 know the staff treats him shoddy.

He's had a 3 month stretch in Frimley HMP already,

Now he's paranoid 2 fuck due 2 his black-skinned body.

Ian lies opposite 2 me N is treated like a king,

He flipped right out, n can't remember a thing,

I made him a mint with free tips on my firsts nights in,

But he's 2 tight to sort us out, a small thank u ting.

Coz it's all just constant beeps blood n crazy noise,

The nurses just can't seem to deal with our manic drugged out joy.

But we still handle it well on F8 with sly n cunning poise,

Coz we r all just the same, proper wind-up boys.

I had a little psychotic break in the bog getting nice n clean,

Nurse saw my diagnosis "Mad as Fuck" n thought it was obscene.

Someone went too far n called the Security team,

So I offered them all out n now I'm cuffed to this bed beam.

I can't really help it that I have a mental prob,

I just don't like taking meds that just don't do the job.

I'd rather be a surgeon cutting my own body up,

But that's why my parents n docs think I'm a mental nob!

Coz it's just constant beeps blood n obscene rants n noise,

The nurses just can't be happy n let us have R joy.

But we all handle it as much as any man can on bay F8 with jokes n noise,

Coz every bed in the bay is filled with messed up Skew up boys.

 

© 2022  - Robert Reid - All Rights Reserved

This Is A Shit Show....

Do you believe the countries gone insane?

Fruit drink bugs gonna eat your brain,

Please someone come feel my pain,

Coz I'm alone, stone broke and afraid.

So many unnecessary people dying,

And big men are heart broke, dropped crying.

Dickhead selfish off panic buying,

An all police want to do is fuckin cite me.

Because my health is a fucking shit show,

On more meds than ten Grannies I know.

Blood eeks from the leaks, legs on show,

An bubbles pop from the snot on nose blows.

It's a sweat tank, drip drop, sorry state to be,

And Gandalf's beards half grown face on me.

Grey whiskers and no razors I can see,

Sofa dove already, one two twenty pee.

All tin cans, been scanned, and bin bagged,

Rotten fruit but it's the best meal I've had.

Got no idea if I'll ever see my Mum and Dad,

When I go out, scarf wrapped face, tight clad.

Coz this Town is a fucking shit show,

And my mental health is nagging bad, full blown.

My inner brains having a decent chat show,

And I'm socially isolated, nowhere to go.

Coz I can't even make some decent Ps,

Nags aint running, bookies closed on high street.

I need some soft paper to wipe my underneath,

But got no petrol to fly off to the heath.

Coz it seems like this worlds in martial law,

It's a sign many have seen years before.

I'd be surprised if they relaxed all new laws,

Get used to sweating hot all summer indoor.

I swear I got bugs sucking thoughts from my brain,

Not a days passed that I've been half sane.

Only got a Pot Noodle and half a can of K,

And not a single neighbours asked if I'm okay.

Coz this countries a fucking shit show,

BoJo clown, Tory fucking road show.

Every booked ops gonna be a no show,

And I'd risk ten new fines to make some quick dough.

So this rope here is going to stay,

You never know I might need to use it one day.

I let it swing back n forth an give it a play,

Then kick the chair, doped choked, merry on my way.

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Fuck Facebook....

So go fuck Facebook,

    fake friends,

    and fucked faced,

    Facebook wannabes.

Your profiles prob all been cloned,

    so I only seen,

    what I wanna see,

    yet never seen.

20 year old dole blogs, arguing, musing,

    I could have been,

    I should have been,

    why wasn't I a “been”?

And decades year old school friends,

    Snapshoted and crop shotted,

    where I wanna be, could have been,

    yet never seen.

Fuck fake face pretends,

    big bell ends,

    past wanna bees,

    and ancient beauty queens.

Facefuck's trade is soaring,

    scammers' is roaring.

    posters selling, fake post pretending, miss-telling,

    but never ever, sending.

Southern beauty Queens,

    spots never seen and endless video streams,

    of automatic wet dreams,

    could have, should have beens, but sadly never to be's...

Got a dozen more “friend” requests to send,

    then I'll have tons more “friends”,

    in my "fiend list" than your "friend list", even if it never ends,

    but sadly from clicks you didn't, but wish you'd really sent.

And now every Thursday night,

    is weekly indoors street party night,

    support health workers rights,

    nurse our Boris Johnsons tight.

Otherwise society will get offended,

    because when society isn't shaped and bended,

    and when it's time to rhyme along, we get along, so sing along,

    and clap and salute, right?

It's 8 O'clock no?

    The Sun says so, so it must be so,

    porch or window, put on a good show,

    coz it's patriots time and not clapping could never be a crime....

But shouldn't the NHS be funded right,

    for all times, all come, day and night,

    not just in case of virus times,

    like this emergency fruitbug crime?

So sorry Mr OAP,

    your name forgets me,

    but the Mail,

    always kindly, and daily, reminds me.

I really don't appreciate being told,

    daily, needlessly re-sold,

    about your patrioticy, your charity,

    lapping your lawn as I drink my morns cup of tea.

You'd be sitting in silk slippers son,

    drinking pints of Rum,

    not in photos with Daily n Scum,

    if was up to me.

But you're not, you're just another Facebook meme,

    been sent off the best team.

    A striker Besties never seen,

    yet just more Facefucked news to read!

© 2020 Robert Reid – All Rights Reserved

Licence Fee

Licence feee, I don't pay for it, no want BBC.

I got Netflix, Prime n BeeTV,

OneHD, Potato Streams and free Pay Per View TV,

Mobdro sports, football and UFC.

I don't watch live shows, my brains catch up TV,

Art Bell at night on TuneIn radio,

Pluto shows and Bitchute video n audio.

Facebook, YouTube don't fuck with me,

Your algorithms demote free speech, can't you see?

My minds escaped Googles box and moved to Pirate Bay,

TOR Browser, uTorrent, I watch films I want my way.

I got respect for film makers and out thought thinkers,

But don't wanna get stuck in your Adsense click baiters.

I turn cookies off and proxy 3 ways,

Internets dark web is free thought my way.

You've ripped blogs from me n ripped up years work for notin,

I'm fed up with your knowledge base, let me speak to a real man.

Internet and Googles,“do no evil”,

NSA's behind all that, like da bike behind Evil Kneivel.

I got no more to say, go read da law on my wall,

Tink about da small print, as I throw you down ma hall.

TV inspector, go swivel, I'm plugged in no more,

To your indoctrination stations, I'm a mainline information whore.

So go tink about dat, as your van sneaks down ma street,

Paying no more to listen, no Government double speak.

 

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid