SKЯ3W

Skr3w, screw, barney McSkrew,

Screw them all and screw u too,

Been in a screw job n not 2 few,

Diablo witch screwed r whole crew.

Coz a screws a joe pullin u out of bed,

Stand by the wall put ur hands on ur head,

Open ur pockets and spins out ur bed,

A tru screw never 4gets a word uve said.

Coz a screw in the jaws pain u can't ignore,

Dental abcess my raw jaw is sore,

Too many meds n the floor is my whore,

N I can't even KO headbutting the door.

Coz a screw under my tyre is nothing new,

A skank neighbours plan n I've had a few,

Stuck roadside wiv nothing to do,

Ur wallets blank n ur mates r too.

Coz a screw on a driver is a tool jus right,

Always beware of that tool in a fight,

Plunge that shank n rotate it tight,

Bein pulled close as ur pupils unlight.

Coz a screw with a bird cud be overdue,

It could be the best screw u never knew,

Unthread ur stress the best u can do,

Unpop ur cork as ur nads turn blue.

Coz a screw aint a nail still I nailed it gd,

If u had to Google then u misunderstood,

That the thread of this Scr3w was meant 2 b good,

It only rhymes becoz I Skrewed it good.

© 2020 Rob Reid in pain after the dentist put a filling on top of an abscess!

Held It In

The tin that held a little life, 

Dramatic events, took all day n night.

A break to party for the plane,

Darkness that snuffed out light.

The tin was the only witness,

Became a cannister full of bliss.

It was the only true survivor,

Cracked baccy tin full of hiss.

A faded container wrap,

That saw the animals bones snap.

Tiny metal survival kit,

Scouting 101 animal trap.

A safety pin was the snare,

Balanced over a twig with care.

SAS survival book taught us,

And now we had the hare.

We all sat around the camp fire,

The plane crash was quite dire,

But at least we now had something to eat,

And survivors partied like a Church choir.

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid