SKЯ3W 2

SKЯ3W Epstein, n screw the news,

Vampire Satanic shiz, giving me the blues. 

Skr3w the elite, n Skrew the u know who's,

This GoySlops makes us not know what to do.

Right this is a Skrewball all bout SkЯ3win, 

It's flesh rot bog clot, hot pot stewin. 

I don't care what u might now be doin,

It's time 2 get rap tight, wrong write, SЯ3wball Skrewing.  

So the main man ain't 2 happy,

Got a goggled eyed baby, whose turned too dappy.

His wife's asked him 2 change his nippers nappy,

Coz his baby's assholes, gone all crappy. 

Sloppy gloopy sunny side ups,

His misses needs a proper measuring cup. 

She can't cook eggs so wats da fux up, 

Man needs a woman, 2 clean up his muck up. 

 So fuck this, he's off for a drive,.

But got blue lights flashin, right behind,

TBH he don't really mind,

He shudn't B driving, wen he's legally blind.

So he gets pulled over by the dibble,

There mouths R frothing wiv spit n dribble.

He's getting nicked by PC Wibble,

So cold out here, he's got beach bra nipple.

Man is 1 that don't take shit, from might right bissies,

So gets right fightin tight n silly. 

Then some cock cop, whacks him in the willy. 

N now gettin clobbered by their extended Billy's. 

 

So now he's in a wagon with a piss head,

Blood splattered alchie, drunk ol dick head.

Get 2 the station 2 get his rights read,

Put in a box 4 a night's free blue bed. 

 But at midnight he gets a real cop treat, 

3 blue come in n he g3ts a mattress beat.

One cop gives him a feather tickle on his feet, 

N another 1 gives his balls a mighty ol tweak. 

Black blue bubbling cop rot shop,

Escaped from jail, nearly got shot. 

Black eye, red eye, nose n snot, 

Base balled legs n bloods runnin hot. 

But that's the fun of the cops, 

Get 6 o'clock knocks on his battered door box. 

Rushes to hide all his stolen sox, 

N hides his stash like a sly ol fox. 

Now got s chicken soup, hot rash, nut sack, 

Seems 2 hv got cock rot, from lovin his slag, 

But she's in a hump coz she's on the rag, 

So off 2 da clinic, 4 a spatula down his crack. 

Smallpox, chicken pox, hd em all, small pup, 

Bone rot, head blok, now got a sore Cock, 

Balls hot, pants dropped, dox got a real shock, 

Now it's pecker slot, red hot as in goes da spatula pop.

So this is a bubbled up, fucked up, mental Skrew,

Wat it means I ain't got a fxxking clue. 

But I'm jus Skrewballing, all Of u,

N that's my homework for u writing crew,

 

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

 

Held It In

The tin that held a little life, 

Dramatic events, took all day n night.

A break to party for the plane,

Darkness that snuffed out light.

The tin was the only witness,

Became a cannister full of bliss.

It was the only true survivor,

Cracked baccy tin full of hiss.

A faded container wrap,

That saw the animals bones snap.

Tiny metal survival kit,

Scouting 101 animal trap.

A safety pin was the snare,

Balanced over a twig with care.

SAS survival book taught us,

And now we had the hare.

We all sat around the camp fire,

The plane crash was quite dire,

But at least we now had something to eat,

And survivors partied like a Church choir.

© 2026 - All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Light

Light, Light, turn out the lights,

Red laser beam, it shines so bright.

Fall on the floor and duck n cover,

I’ve had too much n I don’t want to suffer.

Cold sweat soup with drips of blood,

Cuts so deep it’ll be a red flood.

But the lights so bright I can’t take any more,

The 6 o’clock knock and the police at my door.

Stuck in a cell with a blue mattress,

Times flying by I wouldn’t wish this.

Cells lights so bright it burns my eyes,

I got hot nose sniffles, n red eye cry.

Knock, knock, that 6 o’clock knock,

I used to wake up at 6 and hide any food I got.

Psyched out, it’s been too many years,

I wake at 6, thinking the doorbell rang in my ears.

I hate this life and I hate this shiz,

But two weeks clean n I’ll be dreaming of this.

Can’t help myself but I can help others,

Easy to preach with a penny of b undiscovered.

I sneak in the bog anytime I like,

Pull down my pants and turn on the light.

Need a long green I got to dig so deep,

Into my flesh I hunt veins to sleep.

Dream, dreams, please let me dream,

Vivid opiate dreams of a life so clean.

But I can’t stop, I’m stuck, stuck to the clock,

Can’t go 8 hours without starting a cluck.

Rattle n roll, n a devil jacked soul,

But I got to suffer if I want outta this hole.

They say some have done it but I don’t believe it’s true,

The only ones who escaped, went out cold and blue.

So I got this light in my head so bright,

I want to turn it off n say hello to the night.

But it’s a 3-month hunt for sleep you see,

Go to bed at 1 n wake at 3.

So I got excuses n plans at least a mile high,

N if u try n force me, I’ll pretend I’ll try.

But the river of dark, it runs so deep,

When u find my body, it will be the only thing to keep.

So turn off the lights I like living in the dark,

It’s a life for a few and it’s no entertainment park.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Green

Green is the colour of sick and bile,

It stinks a lot and hangs around for a while.

Green is the colour of cut grass and cricket pitches,

Imagine a village full of trees, winding roads and ditches.

Green is the colour you see of crap high up in your guts,

Don't look at the screen during a colonoscopy it hurts too much.

Green is a primary colour of light called RGB,

It's a base colour and helps make up all the other colours you see.

Green is that smell of horrible veg drifting from the kitchen,

Brussel sprouts, spinach, and all the other good for u food that keeps you bitchin'.

Green is the murky colour of underwater growth and frogs,

It's all stains on your clothes and summer moss hanging off logs.

Green isn't a colour that you would paint your car and sell very well,

It's in that list of colours that a hobbit's house may dwell.

Green is a colour not as pretty as red yellow or blue,

But I know from doctors it's the colour of food that is good for you.

So green is a gurky colour and like others to the blind hard to describe,

Just know that you ask a friend if the traffic light is green before they drive.

© All Rights Reserved 2022 By Robert Reid

This Is A Shit Show....

Do you believe the countries gone insane?

Fruit drink bugs gonna eat your brain,

Please someone come feel my pain,

Coz I'm alone, stone broke and afraid.

So many unnecessary people dying,

And big men are heart broke, dropped crying.

Dickhead selfish off panic buying,

An all police want to do is fuckin cite me.

Because my health is a fucking shit show,

On more meds than ten Grannies I know.

Blood eeks from the leaks, legs on show,

An bubbles pop from the snot on nose blows.

It's a sweat tank, drip drop, sorry state to be,

And Gandalf's beards half grown face on me.

Grey whiskers and no razors I can see,

Sofa dove already, one two twenty pee.

All tin cans, been scanned, and bin bagged,

Rotten fruit but it's the best meal I've had.

Got no idea if I'll ever see my Mum and Dad,

When I go out, scarf wrapped face, tight clad.

Coz this Town is a fucking shit show,

And my mental health is nagging bad, full blown.

My inner brains having a decent chat show,

And I'm socially isolated, nowhere to go.

Coz I can't even make some decent Ps,

Nags aint running, bookies closed on high street.

I need some soft paper to wipe my underneath,

But got no petrol to fly off to the heath.

Coz it seems like this worlds in martial law,

It's a sign many have seen years before.

I'd be surprised if they relaxed all new laws,

Get used to sweating hot all summer indoor.

I swear I got bugs sucking thoughts from my brain,

Not a days passed that I've been half sane.

Only got a Pot Noodle and half a can of K,

And not a single neighbours asked if I'm okay.

Coz this countries a fucking shit show,

BoJo clown, Tory fucking road show.

Every booked ops gonna be a no show,

And I'd risk ten new fines to make some quick dough.

So this rope here is going to stay,

You never know I might need to use it one day.

I let it swing back n forth an give it a play,

Then kick the chair, doped choked, merry on my way.

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid