Light

Light, Light, turn out the lights,

Red laser beam, it shines so bright.

Fall on the floor and duck n cover,

I’ve had too much n I don’t want to suffer.

Cold sweat soup with drips of blood,

Cuts so deep it’ll be a red flood.

But the lights so bright I can’t take any more,

The 6 o’clock knock and the police at my door.

Stuck in a cell with a blue mattress,

Times flying by I wouldn’t wish this.

Cells lights so bright it burns my eyes,

I got hot nose sniffles, n red eye cry.

Knock, knock, that 6 o’clock knock,

I used to wake up at 6 and hide any food I got.

Psyched out, it’s been too many years,

I wake at 6, thinking the doorbell rang in my ears.

I hate this life and I hate this shiz,

But two weeks clean n I’ll be dreaming of this.

Can’t help myself but I can help others,

Easy to preach with a penny of b undiscovered.

I sneak in the bog anytime I like,

Pull down my pants and turn on the light.

Need a long green I got to dig so deep,

Into my flesh I hunt veins to sleep.

Dream, dreams, please let me dream,

Vivid opiate dreams of a life so clean.

But I can’t stop, I’m stuck, stuck to the clock,

Can’t go 8 hours without starting a cluck.

Rattle n roll, n a devil jacked soul,

But I got to suffer if I want outta this hole.

They say some have done it but I don’t believe it’s true,

The only ones who escaped, went out cold and blue.

So I got this light in my head so bright,

I want to turn it off n say hello to the night.

But it’s a 3-month hunt for sleep you see,

Go to bed at 1 n wake at 3.

So I got excuses n plans at least a mile high,

N if u try n force me, I’ll pretend I’ll try.

But the river of dark, it runs so deep,

When u find my body, it will be the only thing to keep.

So turn off the lights I like living in the dark,

It’s a life for a few and it’s no entertainment park.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

An Ode to My Bed

This is an ode and poem to my very own double bed, 

A prison cell maybe, but it’s home n a place I never dread.

I do get tired from climbing steep stairs with broken legs,

N I get to the top n need to lie down to rest my creaking pegs.

I’m in my bedroom n through the windows I could see blue sky,

But the curtains R always closed tight n only my paranoia knows why.

Like hospital, I’ve spent days and weeks just lying on my bed,

Waiting for ops or recuperation time, I am the walking dead.

I can hear cars screech early doors, N planes N trains fly by.

N I can block the sound of little barking dogs out if I really try.

I have a nice NHS air mattress on my bed after my thigh was chopped,

It's nice and hard and keeps me waking to find my back broken N flopped.

With my TV on the wall, I watch YouTube N Netflix all day N night,

But the cops do love me so when I hear the doorbell ring I get a fright.

After the deadly ruck I had, blood stains the ceiling N now I have a camera doorbell,

So if blue do come a knocking I can always look at the screen for an early tell.

But I do love my bed it’s the space I have suffered, loved, and cried,

And one of these days it’ll probably be the place I finally rest to die.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Got To Find A Way....

Just because I was hating,

Secretly seething and baiting.

No-one knows what the big deal is,

When I'm alone sick n naked.

So I got to find a way,

A better way, a healthy way.

Got to find a way a better way,

Some other day, another day.

When I was a lover,

There were always others.

Girls and barmaids everywhere,

For a life without self care.

I got to find a way,

A better way, a clever way.

I got to find a way.

A nicer way, a different day.

When I was a fighter,

I'd burn candle wax with lighters.

Dripping wax on fingers,

Licking blood off fingers.

I got to find a way,

A better way, a better way.

I got to find a way.

A nicer way, some other day.

When I was a loser,

I was a locked up bruiser.

Fighting cops in high streets,

Waking up in beds with new meets.

I got to find a way,

A better way, a better way.

I got to find a way.

A finer way, but on another day.

When I was forced on the sick,

Life was boring as shit.

Hated way people got funny,

When I asked for money.

We got to find a way,

A better way, for a better day.

We need to find a way.

All of us need, a better day.

Freedom is like a flower,

Blooming to speak truth to power.

Never let them cage you for speaking,

This life aint meant for weaklings.

We got to find a day,

When we say, what we want to say.

Got to find a way to fight to say,

No Twitter cancel sway.

We got to find a way,

A freedom day, no backing away,

We got to find a way, don't let them say,

What we are not allowed to say.  

So we got to find a way,

A better way, a better way,

Got to find a way, a clever way,

No fighting today.

Got to find a way, a better way, now today.

Got to find a way, a better way, now today.

Got to find a way, a better way, now today.

Got to find a way, a better way, now today.

(repeats until almost a scream)

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

This Song was also published on the Mary Frances Trust website > https://www.maryfrancestrust.org.uk/movember-song-got-to-find-a-way/

As well as on their Twitter account > https://twitter.com/MaryFrancesTrst/status/1592168577624584197

Our 3rd Movember blog is a song called "Got To Find A Way" & written by Robert from our Creative Writing Group about struggles of a life without self-care & trying to find a healthier way of dealing with hurt by opening up and saying what you want to say: https://t.co/xCY1zC4Q92 pic.twitter.com/diJQvuquLa

— Mary Frances Trust (@MaryFrancesTrst) November 14, 2022

And Instagram Account > https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck8fSzTt5tR/

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Black

I feel black like a smack and the crack of the back,

Slowly drifting to the end with no coming back.

I am living in the dark coz it keeps me warm,

But I am in pain from the blood stains from the bandages warn.

My bleed is a seed that apparently is making me ill,

So looking forward to that op and the drink I’ll down, pig swill.

Black is the light of the night and sunrise to me,

Go to bed at 5 or 6 and I wake up at midnight you see.

Then everything is chill and I can type away,

The night is my time, if I had to choose when to play,

I only get out of bed early if there is a dox or hoz appointment that day.

Building my BOT, writing, and doing stuff other people do in the day.

And black is the slack in my creaking old back,

With bones and nerves in pain as if I’ve been strung on the rack.

It’s not really a colour but the absence of them all,

But black is the colour that keeps me climbing the wall.

© All Rights Reserved 2022 By Robert Reid 

Green

Green is the colour of sick and bile,

It stinks a lot and hangs around for a while.

Green is the colour of cut grass and cricket pitches,

Imagine a village full of trees, winding roads and ditches.

Green is the colour you see of crap high up in your guts,

Don't look at the screen during a colonoscopy it hurts too much.

Green is a primary colour of light called RGB,

It's a base colour and helps make up all the other colours you see.

Green is that smell of horrible veg drifting from the kitchen,

Brussel sprouts, spinach, and all the other good for u food that keeps you bitchin'.

Green is the murky colour of underwater growth and frogs,

It's all stains on your clothes and summer moss hanging off logs.

Green isn't a colour that you would paint your car and sell very well,

It's in that list of colours that a hobbit's house may dwell.

Green is a colour not as pretty as red yellow or blue,

But I know from doctors it's the colour of food that is good for you.

So green is a gurky colour and like others to the blind hard to describe,

Just know that you ask a friend if the traffic light is green before they drive.

© All Rights Reserved 2022 By Robert Reid

God complex

When I was just a baby alien God,

I never really wanted human blood.

Now I'm omnipotent I love it like dogs love mud,

Just give me your neck n let the red flood.

Life’s just a vivid dream now separate from time, 

I can see other worlds just with my mind, 

Remote viewing and universal consciousness is a gold mine, 

I never know when I sleep what I'll find. 

I've been a joyrider riding space cars, 

N I've killed insectoid aliens fighting on mars.

I've killed millions with my mind eons far, 

And destroyed hundreds of planets and their stars.

I am Zeus, Thor, Yahweh and all you humans worship me, 

You all bend over and follow my every decree.

I change my name every hundred years or three,

And all you mortal beings just worship me.

I think I might just have a God complex,

My life is stuck in time a human wreck,

I bellow commands and send sailors below deck,

I demand fealty and you all pay me respect.

But then again, I'm in a locked up padded cell,

With tubes coming from every orifice, I can tell.

Maybe I am only a God of the room I dwell,

And I will spend eternity in my very own hell.

© 2022 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid