Addict...

Hello I'm Rob, and I'm an addict,

To be honest my addiction, is my habit.

Please close this page, if you ever liked me,

I don't want more ex friends, to think I'm mad as can be.

The truth is, I'm addicted to self abusing,

The truth is, I'm addicted to self amusing.

The truth is, I'm addicted to unhealthy and sickening care,

You can easily see the scars, on my limbs though my hair.

I'm addicted to being, sad and alone,

And I don't have the balls, to ever pick up a phone.

I'm addicted to major, self harm and abuse,

My life is a long road to hell, that was illegally introduced.

So basically I'm addicted, to not giving a fuck,

And I enjoy getting hit hard, when I'm having a ruck.

I like digging holes, deep in my own skin,

And I like cutting people up, like a can tin.

I'm addicted to always seeing the worst,

Coz the worst of the worst, is my own worse curse.

I can't help the flow, of my thin watery blood,

As the rain washes my body, lying unconscious in mud.

I'm addicted to nasty police, harassment and tugs,

They always ask if I'll hit them, when taking off cuffs.

I've had bare police cold, in my own hands,

The hands of a man, who didn't know the length of his own plans.

I'm addicted to not caring, about holes and cuts,

I'll end up alone, life’s clock ticked all out of all luck.

It's a shame there's no detox, that could ever fix me,

Take the drugs and meds away, and then you'll see.

That all my self harm, has probably been,

A way of keeping my family and friends, safe n clean.

Coz unfortunately the life I wanted, was not in store,

And I've walked dark roads, that nobody saw.

God just decided to deal me an early duff hand,

The sort in poker that only blags, bluffs n lies withstand.

I've tried, but there is no 12 step program for me,

And my only chip, has the Grim Reaper stamped for everyone to see.

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

2021

We R now all living in a police state,

U thought I was joking a year back big mistake.

BoJo lies n toos n frows about a covid passport,

It was never in doubt, a 100% thought.

We r now just data in a 4th gen database,

Just stick to the rules serf, know ur place.

Police break up gatherings, n follow dog walkers with drones,

Try n explain wats goin on, people respond wiv moans.

We must all do it, "to get back to normal" ppl say, 

Well what's normal now, wasnt just a yr away.

Your all just compliant n docile.

I'm fucking defiant n vocal.

I want 1984 to go back to being a book,

This wasn't the way Orwell thought our land wud look.

So stick heads out ass n read from the many cancelled,

N then maybe dem brains wouldn't be so scrambled. 

© 2021 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Mental Health Week....

Someone told me it was mental health week,

Apologises that I've not even made a tweet,

The health of my mind at the mo is pretty unstable n weak,

It breakable n shakable n I don't really want to speak.

Take ur pills, take ur pills, is all I can remember,

When I was depressed n psychotic for 20 odds years Jan 2 December.

Bi-polar, Schizo, told I'd be paranoid 4 forever,

No med reviews, so stopped takin those sweets, GPs ain't so clever.

Life on Olanzapine, Rispirodone n other Fluorine based meds,

Only make u fat, slows u down n fucks with ur head.

Prob why Hitler, Stalin, CIA used it 2 cold walk enemies dead,

Slept 23 a day, even behind the wheel, so lucky not 2 b dead.

So I take what I need to get me up every day,

But I could easily spend life under the duvet wishing it away.

Cops n stitches, n a 5 stretch for jus getting thru the day,

But I dont give a shit coz I'm in prison either way.

Dont ever sneak up on me n surprise me from behind,

Probably find out how quick 2 fingers make u blind.

I can't handle stress n my bodies only half kind,

Had more holes put in me than 3 whore houses combined.

Now I'm falling apart n COVIDS blocking my health,

Multiple ops cancelled coz DAVOS trebled their wealth.

So I hv to cop block, runnins daily, sneaky n stealth,

But every non prescribed med slowly corrodes my health.

So mentally or physically I'm wrecked beyond prime,

N wen I run out of p's n ill I'd happily do the time.

Courts local paper journos wud only see a standard crime,

Mitigating circumstances wouldn't even warrant a line.

Coz my mental health needs fixing but no1 seems to care,

N I stay stuck in this flat alone no1 2 talk to or share.

My mental health nds mending but shrinks wont get out there chair,

N that's why my minds goin 2 b the end of me, pls God hear this prayer. 

© 2021 Robert Reid – All Rights Reserved

Do While Not True (Mr Robot)....

Malicious code; Malware infected......

Error; Invalid loop detected at line 1;

Do While Not True.

        Mr Robot, Gobot, Say hello to my HACK BOT.

        Data's safe, SSL Encased,

        Better Encrypt, or say hello to my face. [HTTP status 200; Okay;]

        Iceweasel, 

        Thread n needle,

        Watch the stack as I format your Kindle.

        Android, on steroids, [Stack overflow; Buffers corrupt;]

        Goto line 100 and watch the noise,

                Break; [VbCrLf]

                Escape; [\]

                Reformat tape. [:REFORMAT]

                Slash, [/]

                Newline, [\n]

                Rewind. [rew]

        Cover the keyboard, whose behind?

        Click the link... [<a href='#' onclick='openWin('infect.htm')>free porn</a>]

                No more dry ink,

                A liquid screen, 

                4k HD I think.

        That link you clicked, your robbed in a blink. [phishing scam success]

        Py, Sy, a lie,

        SQL inject, [' OR 1=1; SELECT username,password FROM sys.sysusers;--]

        But never forget,

        To ask why,

        I code,

        Flip the script, inject a hit of JavaScript, as I Cross Site [XSS],

        X-Accept, but never forget, a strong Passcode,

        We BaseEncode, [QSBzdHcGFzc3dvcmQ=]

        trip the node,

        And watch the flow, of 1s and Zeros, [1010101010..buffer overflow exec()]

                NO.

                MORE.

                ONE Percent.

                Of 1%,

        Double faced, White Rose in disgrace,

        Minister Chang, will never hang,

        For crimes abliet, she'll never admit,

        The rich inhibit, a world of their own,

                A secret,

                one,

                percent,

                Davos zone,

       So me, I code alone,

    What can I do?

    I hack, [Nmap, Wireshark, Aircrack]

    Do Until True. [Do While 1!=0]

Loop

Black dashed gobbledygook, [grep '^\(.\).\1z.$' /usr/share/dict/words]

Hacked fast, your server I took, [Windows 2019]

NoScript, Penetration test,

Your networks mine, [Bruteforce Completed; Root PSW: rU8eMeu23]

Your firewalls a mess,

With ones and zeros your data I infest,

You better put on your hacker proof vest.

Too late its all mine, your servers corrupt, [Ransomware deployed]

I watch your face as the office errupts.

A two way cam, no-one expects, [rootkit detected in hardware device]

To lose your privacy, with a random text.

Python, Basic,

A worm in a hole trick,

A Database head...... [MS SQL, MySQL, Oracle]

        Do While, 

        til, 

        I'm dead!

So Dot Net, Internet,

Your wife's upset? 

A popup she saw, she'll never forget?

Your porn sites, that history's wiped?

Facebook, your profile I took, [Say hello to your new friend {input_name}]

I cloned your life,

And unfriended your wife.

Your secret kinks, emailed out in a blink.

        So go back sixty years, 

        The “Internet”, 

        A thought to get,

So I code, 

all night on the phone, [.Net, C#, Java, C++, F#]

Stackoverflow, 

a thread on it's own, [Require help with asynschronous HTTP requets]

        No-one to ask, 

        So I hack alone.

A proxied path, a TOR connect, an Onion net, [TOR Route Connected]

A big collect.

        Bitcoin,

        Scotscoin,

        Icelands net,

So we hack to get,

Those coins, those bytes, the bits,

Your wallets full, and then it's gone, [403: Forbidden Status Code]

I dumped your cypto, in my dropbox zone,

Your files infected, copied down, to my jailbroke phone.

So I, 

    DO, 

    WHILE, 

    NOT, 

    TRUE,

    YOU,

    Watch while your screen turns blue..... [Blue screen of death]    

Error at line 100 undefined, exception undefined.......

© 2020 Robert Reid – All Rights Reserved

(Yellow print is computer code, hack vectors and various error messages and are

NOT part of the poem but used to add authenticity to the console screen.

They are NOT meant to be read out when reading the poem.)

Dig It...

Diggin, diggin, diggin deep holes.

In my arms, in my legs.

My head it swirls.

I feel the pin, and I feel the pain.

Mum I feel the sorrow,

And I feel the shame.

© 2001 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Brown Bitch....

I’m in love with a lady,

Her name is brown.

She consumes my heart,

Makes me forget,

Everything,

For a while.

But then I need her beside me,

Again.

I cannot live without her.

She scares me yet I cannot leave.

Together we will die

Hand in hand,

I fear that my funeral has already been planned.

© 2001 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

I overheard....

I overheard, that u were no longer my bird,

U been sleeping around, the thought was absurd.

Then I came home, 2 catch you in my bed,

With another bloke, I wanted him dead.

You were up the duff with my kid, little did I know,

Soon as I was out the picture, he got to watch them grow.

I'd like to to hav a kid, 2 bunk off school n hv a lark.

I'd like to hav a kid, to play wiv me in the park,

I'd like to get to know them, b4 I'm brown bread,

I'd like to 2 hav some1 cry, at my funeral wen I'm dead.

But I can't hv any kids, even tho I might hav a few,

N I can't hav a kid, n it saddens me that's it's true,

I got no money, n no notes for toys,

I got no dolls, or playstations for boys.

If God was real, I'd hv b normal wiv real emotions to feel,

But God must be dead, can't see no truth that he's real.

I wish I had some sense, but it's been battered out my head,

N that's why I won't see my kids, til maybe when we're dead.

© 2021 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid