Water...

She said once in a scene, as a teen in an advert once seen,

“The water in Mayorca don't taste like wat it ort ta.”

And if I'm wet and feel clean my mind often dreams,

for not all that I see, is even real or has been.

Still that water in Majorca,

where I skinny dipped with someone’s daughter.

Was at 14, the best holiday I've ever been,

drunk at night, trying to chat French to German teens.

Memories often escape me, most have been blocked out,

but once in a while, one kicks my head in with a shout.

Waters the theme, and it tries to temper my mean,

and who would want to flounce if your pits aint even clean.

You may take the piss, and snigger behind posh wrists,

but step to my face, I'll remix Shelly n Keats with my fists.

So that water in Majorca actually does taste like what it ought to,

it's shitty n bitty and very often too gritty.

You must boil it to drink, or you'll catch bugs in a wink,

and if the waters not clean I'll see specks in my think.

A shower calms my head, whilst gypsies wish me dead,

yet I don't think my nog, wants another bat round it's head.

So I float in my minds boat, trying to relax as I toke,

a Sea Scout at 10, but then thrown out for a joke.

Still lucky for me, as the Troop leader liked young boys,

I just feel sorry for those left, some abused like toys.

Sordid strokes on the leg, just before a night swim,

And a pat on the ass, if you were good in the gym.

That's just one peek, behind my minds curtain to speak,

and then hopefully I forget, before it comes back in my sleep.

So I forget all the nonces and the many pervs in power,

for it is their dirty minds that should be forced into showers.

Still my minds serene, as I write my life’s deeds like a play scene,

and through the waters I swim, I pray to keep my soul nice and clean.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

XMAS SKЯEW....

SKr3w Screw,

Shiny glitter n glue,

Xmas came 2 soon,

Not nuff time 2 do.

Coz im ill n cold,

Rotten bones 2 old,

Gotta get gifts, I'm told,

B4 they're all sold.

But my wallets so blank,

N gettin txts from my bank,

Im in deep shit, half sank,

N my shopping list is wank.

But its XMAS time,

Plenty of pills n wine,

But got no credit line,

So prezzies ull come frm crime.

I'm spendin whole days in bed,

Shrinks fucked wiv my meds,

N mad shits crawling my head.

But still this iz XMAS time,

I'll b fucked up from 9,

Drink all day til night,

Then watch r family all fight.

My bredrens all here,

Drinking Scotch n Beer,

My sister sits near,

Still not a word in my ear.

Coz she hates my guts,

4 old skool time heart cuts,

Her mates dead bro I knw not,

But an Elephant's memory she got.

But joy, its XMAS time,

Shop mad n get debt 4 time,

Its a messed up gd night,

N yuletide good times.

But this is Santas Skrew,

His wallnuts r cold n blu,

Rudolphs b glowing red soon,

Coz he's stuck in your flue.

So ur presents will b late,

As it's all not always up 2 fate,

Santa's bellys far too great,

N all prezzies, China slave made.

So I'll end this shit Skrew,

Coz I got fuck all else 2 do,

I'd love to Facetalk to a few,

But chose 2 write 2 r crew! 

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Coincidence Theory...

Take Your Pills.....

“Free speech is speech you might not want to hear, maybe it's because it's speech you may fear."

"Your mentally ill, it's not speech I want to share, so just take your pills, please be a dear."

"I'm sorry Mum that you don't care or hear, Orwell's been knocking, but 1984's already here."

"Take your pills, take your pills, I don't want to know or even care, that the rich and powerful would dare conspire a mere.”

Coincidence Theory...

Speech, it's the other side of listening, so be quiet and meek, just listen well, whilst I try n teach,

Some lessons and facts, don't think that I'll preach, most that you hear, will have been out of your reach.

I dare tell alternative theories, historical events I seek, but talk aloud, n it's a “conspiracy theory” I speak.

I just pass on the knowledge, and info that's been leaked, but it won't be long, b4 Google denies “all free speech”.

If I dare mention COVID19, is just one big why, too many symptoms to put down, that you can die.

Wuhan's free again, their wet markets aren't shy, the rest of the world shuts shops, from only Amazon u can buy.

Fear Porn's on 24/7, news is selling one big lie, but just look at the world, and please ask yourself why?

The poor always stay poor, no-one even cries, whilst the rich get more power, their money stacked high.

Dem's denounced Trump, he maybe full of drama, but count the deaths, he's killed far less than Obama.

Voted for Biden, a “woke” lib not a harmer, but u 4get he's jailed millions, with the help from Kamala.

There is no US election, it's a selection year long trauma, then a 2 sided coin gets in, suddenly your much calmer.

Take a look at yourself, on your knee's at Police farmers, herding masked sheep, just like a snake charmer.

Biden's sons a crack head, taking pics snorting off whores behinds, then slow Joe's son, leaves his laptop behind.

Hunter likes his dick pics, his Dad must be kind, news blackout, and his dad definitely don't mind.

Coz daddy Joe jailed crack smoking blacks, millions were confined, privatised prison labour, ppl need a remind.

But if you know and u show, or dare post these FACTS online, you'll soon see your YouTube vids, instantly rewind.

Look up “The Great Reset”, it's a plan full of clues, just be sure, you're reading some real #altnews.

It don't take hard math, just basic ones and twos, people can deny, but it's been in major news.

The Globalists have been waiting 4 this event, many ppl jumped in with no clue, but when China runs the show, what will u do?

All the pubs will die, you'll have nothing to do, and I'll be paying through the nose, to just Tweet to you.

On 9.11, World Trade Centre 7 fell with suspicion, free fall to the ground, therefore it must be a submission.

We even have the CIA agent, with his death bed confession, with his last words, he let out a filmed admission.

BBC reported on the news of the collapse, with the building still full of munition, she told the world, 20 mins before it's demolition.

But there were no answers, just ask the commission, they just left WTC7 out, ignored by omission.

We had Grandpa Prescott Bush, in the 30's a heavy hitter, a powerful man, who only supported Hitler.

He even tried a coup, to try make the US even more bitter, but didn't have the balls, to be the main killer.

The man he tried to recruit, was only one General Smedley Butler, but he turned them in, coz he weren't some nutter.

He wrote “War is a Racket”, the truth of the US mugger, you should all read it, and try not to shudder.

Did you just see the Pentagon released films, of planes chasing a UFO, or was it just news, u chose to forgo?

The “Tic Tac” it was called, n made their planes look slow like crows, all over the net, but didn't make a single news show.

Even the pilot who chased it, was allowed to disclose, it defied known physics, when being interviewed he knows.

That aliens were probably flying it, a dynamic light show, but don't ask mainstream news, it didn't make one row.

You have generals and pilots, who have forgone severance, even the ex head of NATO, with top cosmic clearance.

All have tried to appear in Congress, witness to their 5 sense, all to say, that UFOs are a real presence.

NASA's own Apollo moon images, show structures mile high immense, clear to see, for all with some sense.

Ask what or how, or write online correspondence, you'll only hear sighs, from brain dead TV nonsense.

Then there's Jeff Epstein, a Mossad owned perv jail bait, was going to speak out, but met with a grisly fate.

Bill Clinton n Prince Andrew, were just 2 of his good “mates”, all caught fiddling, secretly behind locked gates.

Whilst in lockup 2 guards fell asleep, wrong ligature marks, and no CCTV tapes, but don't over think, it was just a mistake.

If he ever made it to court, imagine peoples take, to find out their beloved leaders, were pedos n fake.

You may think speech is free, you can say a lot, but I can tell you all, it's absolutely not.

Say the wrong words, or think the wrong thoughts, you never know, you might even get shot.

Try n spread the truth, just don't connect too many dots, coz your truth, will soon get forgot.

Big techs limiting free speech, their on it non stop, plus your names already been logged, n sent to the Orwellian lot..

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Smell...

This Skr3w is new, and I dunno wat 2 do,

Bashed ten blues, but my minds still on u.

Tried 2 get up but my duvets stuck like glue,

Lying here cashless thinking who to sue.

Ur just a lovely brunette and I want 2 smell ur hair,

Give me 5 mins, I don't give a toss wat u wear.

Don't wanna get close, n I'm always aware,

That peeps think a bloke like me, cud never ever care.

I don't hav the words to spit to u online,

N u'd prob be miffed if u ever heard this rhyme.

Can't write love songs, they wudn't hv that chime,

And I run 2 much to even have the time.

I jus like that smile when u don't even know,

Flick of that brown, putting on a show.

Your the sort of girl that I'd really like to know,

But the chance of the bet is I'd prob let it blow.

So I sit here alone n just twiddle wiv my phone,

Hoping every min that u'd catch the dog n bone.

Coz the truth of the matter is I'll prob end up alone,

N that Facefuck profile I stare at, is prob just a clone.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

Irritants....

My TVs just broke and it ain’t no corny joke, coz lying on my bed only makes me want to toke.

I need a KO express, Caffeine-less depress, and I wait for the sleep, with an ashtray on my chest.

The windows open wide, yet I close the curtains and hide, for nothing is as nice, as a wasps buzz inside.

You get a little cup, try to lift the sucker up, but try as you might, the dopy insect won't take flight.

It's just another irritant!

My front rooms bulb just gone again, best part of a tenner to see again, what the fuck have I got to spend, I just need a pay-day lend.

Ask my old man for a loan, and get greeted by a moan, all I want is a clear view zone, but I'll have to shop alone.

So I go to B&Q for a shop, only need a 60 watt, yet back in the car I've forgot, and nut the wheel, blood clot.

Coz those Ray-bans on my eyes, must be very heavily disguised, still I'm pleasantly surprised, to find my shades still on my head alive.

Shopping is always an irritant.

Then a bird phone rings as I'm shopping for some things, it's just another yabba yabba ting, should have just let it ring.

But I get in my car, don't drive too far before the hands-free goes HA, and I can't turn off the electrics in my car.

I try to pop the hood, like any man could, the lever bloody should, but snaps in half well good, left here covered in blood.

Try to give my Dad a call, but he aint answering at all, so go to knock on a neighbours door, knowing they're probably being silent hugging floor.

Flat battery irritant

Heat is mean on my thin blood, can't cool down like people should, so I'm lying on my bed, but too few Mummy's little helpers to help make me brain dead.

But now my net curtains fallen down, and it ain’t a funny frown, coz I know I'll surely drown, from all the insects in the town.

I can't stand this boiling heat, the damp sweat soaked nightly sheets, yet I've got an top deck view, of an estate of flabby meat.

Maybe they should all try to disguise, coz those Slag Tags ain’t very wise, and if you stand under my skies, I'll automatically 2 metre-ize.

TWO Metres – Irritant Bitches!

So I'm walking to the chemist, when a doofus becomes a menace, and an argument that ain’t even mine, ends up with possibility of doing time.

I must have a face right for a punch, and I've had to absorb a bunch, funny thing is though, I've never gone to ground once.

But I'm fed up of Doctor Who? Telling me they maybe new, but seemingly well clued, that my granite skull's my saviour too.

Well you can take it all back, coz as great as it is n all that. I'd rather remember more, than become a hundred year old senile bore.

I'm probably just another persons irritant.

© 2020 – All Rights Reserved - Robert Reid

This Is A Shit Show....

Do you believe the countries gone insane?

Fruit drink bugs gonna eat your brain,

Please someone come feel my pain,

Coz I'm alone, stone broke and afraid.

So many unnecessary people dying,

And big men are heart broke, dropped crying.

Dickhead selfish off panic buying,

An all police want to do is fuckin cite me.

Because my health is a fucking shit show,

On more meds than ten Grannies I know.

Blood eeks from the leaks, legs on show,

An bubbles pop from the snot on nose blows.

It's a sweat tank, drip drop, sorry state to be,

And Gandalf's beards half grown face on me.

Grey whiskers and no razors I can see,

Sofa dove already, one two twenty pee.

All tin cans, been scanned, and bin bagged,

Rotten fruit but it's the best meal I've had.

Got no idea if I'll ever see my Mum and Dad,

When I go out, scarf wrapped face, tight clad.

Coz this Town is a fucking shit show,

And my mental health is nagging bad, full blown.

My inner brains having a decent chat show,

And I'm socially isolated, nowhere to go.

Coz I can't even make some decent Ps,

Nags aint running, bookies closed on high street.

I need some soft paper to wipe my underneath,

But got no petrol to fly off to the heath.

Coz it seems like this worlds in martial law,

It's a sign many have seen years before.

I'd be surprised if they relaxed all new laws,

Get used to sweating hot all summer indoor.

I swear I got bugs sucking thoughts from my brain,

Not a days passed that I've been half sane.

Only got a Pot Noodle and half a can of K,

And not a single neighbours asked if I'm okay.

Coz this countries a fucking shit show,

BoJo clown, Tory fucking road show.

Every booked ops gonna be a no show,

And I'd risk ten new fines to make some quick dough.

So this rope here is going to stay,

You never know I might need to use it one day.

I let it swing back n forth an give it a play,

Then kick the chair, doped choked, merry on my way.

© 2020 All Rights Reserved Robert Reid

Fuck Facebook....

So go fuck Facebook,

    fake friends,

    and fucked faced,

    Facebook wannabes.

Your profiles prob all been cloned,

    so I only seen,

    what I wanna see,

    yet never seen.

20 year old dole blogs, arguing, musing,

    I could have been,

    I should have been,

    why wasn't I a “been”?

And decades year old school friends,

    Snapshoted and crop shotted,

    where I wanna be, could have been,

    yet never seen.

Fuck fake face pretends,

    big bell ends,

    past wanna bees,

    and ancient beauty queens.

Facefuck's trade is soaring,

    scammers' is roaring.

    posters selling, fake post pretending, miss-telling,

    but never ever, sending.

Southern beauty Queens,

    spots never seen and endless video streams,

    of automatic wet dreams,

    could have, should have beens, but sadly never to be's...

Got a dozen more “friend” requests to send,

    then I'll have tons more “friends”,

    in my "fiend list" than your "friend list", even if it never ends,

    but sadly from clicks you didn't, but wish you'd really sent.

And now every Thursday night,

    is weekly indoors street party night,

    support health workers rights,

    nurse our Boris Johnsons tight.

Otherwise society will get offended,

    because when society isn't shaped and bended,

    and when it's time to rhyme along, we get along, so sing along,

    and clap and salute, right?

It's 8 O'clock no?

    The Sun says so, so it must be so,

    porch or window, put on a good show,

    coz it's patriots time and not clapping could never be a crime....

But shouldn't the NHS be funded right,

    for all times, all come, day and night,

    not just in case of virus times,

    like this emergency fruitbug crime?

So sorry Mr OAP,

    your name forgets me,

    but the Mail,

    always kindly, and daily, reminds me.

I really don't appreciate being told,

    daily, needlessly re-sold,

    about your patrioticy, your charity,

    lapping your lawn as I drink my morns cup of tea.

You'd be sitting in silk slippers son,

    drinking pints of Rum,

    not in photos with Daily n Scum,

    if was up to me.

But you're not, you're just another Facebook meme,

    been sent off the best team.

    A striker Besties never seen,

    yet just more Facefucked news to read!

© 2020 Robert Reid – All Rights Reserved